Science is more useful than human judgment in stopping crime. To what extent do you agree?

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In today's modern life, science has become increasingly important and can helpassist in many things, it also help in stopping crimesareas, including crime prevention. I agree that science is more useful than human judgment in stopping crimes in moreto a greater extent. Fri Firstly, science has developed a lot and hassignificantly and has introduced many technologies like, such as DNA testing, fingurerprints, and other things whichools that can be very helpful to finding thein identifying criminals. For example, if there is a murder case and the police find some hair or skin ofrom the criminal insuspect at the crime scene, they can use DNA testing to find the criminal. Thisidentify the perpetrator. This method is more usefulreliable than human judgment because humans can make mistakes but science cannot make mistakes. , whereas scientific methods are based on objective data. Secondly, science has also developed manynumerous security systems like, including CCTV cameras, and alarms and other things, which can prevent crimes from happenoccurring. For example, if there are CCTV cameras in a shop, the thieves will not try to rob the shop because they know that they will be caught on camera. This is more useful thainstance, if a shop is equipped with CCTV cameras, potential thieves are less likely to attempt a robbery, knowing they will be recorded. This is more effective than relying solely on human judgment because, as humans cannot be present everywhere at all the times, but science can be present everywhere all the time. tific measures can be implemented in multiple locations simultaneously. In conclusion, I believe that science is more useful than human judgment in stopping crimes because it has developed manyvarious technologies and security systems which can be very helpful in findthat are instrumental in identifying criminals and preventing crimes from happening. Science is generally more accurate and reliable than human judgment in stopping crimesthis context.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear argument that science is more effective than human judgment in crime prevention, supported by relevant examples such as DNA testing and CCTV cameras. Key strengths of the essay include a clear position on the topic and relevant examples that illustrate the points made. The structure is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Critical areas for improvement include enhancing the development of ideas by considering counterarguments or discussing the limitations of science. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices could be improved to create smoother transitions between ideas. The vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there is some repetition and minor spelling errors that detract from the overall quality. Structural changes made include improving the clarity of the introduction and ensuring that each body paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence. Transition phrases were also varied to enhance coherence. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include exploring potential drawbacks of relying solely on science in crime prevention and incorporating a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone of the essay is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, phrases like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' are used, but more varied linking words could enhance the flow of the essay. Improving the coherence by ensuring that each point builds on the previous one would strengthen the overall clarity.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('science has become important and can help in many things, it also help'), and awkward constructions ('human can make mistakes but science cannot make mistakes'). While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence structures, the presence of these errors affects clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate for the topic, with terms like 'DNA testing,' 'CCTV cameras,' and 'security systems' demonstrating some range. However, there are instances of repetition, such as the frequent use of 'human' and 'science.' To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms or more varied expressions. Additionally, minor spelling errors, such as 'fingureprints' and 'Fristly,' detract from the overall lexical quality.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position that science is more useful than human judgment in stopping crime. It provides relevant examples, such as DNA testing and CCTV cameras, to support the argument. However, the development of ideas could be improved by exploring counterarguments or discussing the limitations of science in crime prevention. Additionally, the introduction could be more effectively structured to clearly outline the main points.
6.5

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