Social media in politics You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram are now widely used by politicians and political parties to spread their message and connect with voters. Do the advantages of social media use in politics outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents both advantages and disadvantages of social media in politics. Key strengths include a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, as well as a clear expression of personal opinion. Critical areas for improvement include enhancing the development of ideas with specific examples, improving coherence through better transitions, and addressing grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. The revised version has corrected many of these issues, including awkward phrasing and spelling errors, while also improving the flow of ideas between paragraphs. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples of politicians who have effectively used social media or instances where misinformation has caused significant issues. Additionally, varying vocabulary further could enhance the lexical resource. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and analytical style throughout.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and a lack of clear transitions between points. To enhance coherence, the writer could use more cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and awkward sentence structures (e.g., 'it for spread their messages'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors affect the overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct grammatical structures and varying sentence types to enhance complexity.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetition (e.g., 'politician', 'peoples', 'advantage', 'disadvantage'). Additionally, there are some spelling errors (e.g., 'politic', 'easilly', 'thinkings') that detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and check for spelling accuracy.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of social media in politics. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the arguments could be more thoroughly supported with examples. For improvement, the writer could provide specific examples of politicians who have successfully used social media or instances where misinformation has caused issues.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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