Solar energy is becoming more and more popular as a source of household energy in many countries around the world. Why is this? What are the advantages and disadvantages of solar energy?
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and addresses the task effectively by discussing the reasons for the increasing popularity of solar energy, as well as its advantages and disadvantages. Key strengths include a logical structure with distinct paragraphs and relevant points. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more thorough development of ideas, such as specific examples or statistics to support claims, and the enhancement of coherence through better transitions and cohesive devices. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving subject-verb agreement, and refining awkward phrasing to enhance clarity. Additionally, spelling errors were corrected to improve lexical resource. For further improvements, the writer could incorporate specific examples of advancements in solar technology or statistics on cost reductions to strengthen the argument. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of solar energy. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, phrases like 'on the other hand' or 'furthermore' could improve the flow of the essay. Additionally, some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects overall clarity.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The essay demonstrates some grammatical range, but there are numerous errors that affect clarity and accuracy. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'solar power are being used'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'have improved', 'is more efficient'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'for they houses compare to before'). To improve, the writer should focus on ensuring subject-verb agreement and using correct verb forms consistently.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate for the topic, with some good attempts at using varied language (e.g., 'renewable', 'emissions'). However, there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'countrys', 'explane', 'improtant', 'mane', 'renewble', 'affordables', 'aknowledge', 'drawback', 'feasable', 'con') that detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The essay addresses the task by discussing the reasons for the increasing popularity of solar energy and outlining its advantages and disadvantages. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples to support the points made. For instance, mentioning specific advancements in solar technology or statistics on cost reductions could enhance the argument. Additionally, the conclusion could be more definitive in summarizing the key points.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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