Some countries have introduced laws to limit the working hours that an employer can ask from an employee. Why are these laws introduced? Is this a positive or negative trend?

Part 2
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In some countryies, they have makde laws for to limiting the working hours that a boss can ask his workers to do. This essay will discuss why the government makes this kind of law and why I think it is a good trend. G The government introduces this kind of law becoause they want to protect the workers. If noWithout such laws, then companyies can make employeres work for too many hours. This is not faire for workers, becoause they also need time for family and, hobbyies, and sleep. If they work too much, then workers will become tired and sick. This is baddetrimental for workers and also bad for companyies, becoause tired workers make more mistakes and work more slow. Soly. Therefore, the government makes laws to protect the health of workers and make sure companyensure that companies do not abuse them. I beliefve this is a very positive trend. As iI mentioned before, if workers must do too much work, they will havface many problems. HisTheir health will be baddeteriorate, they will havexperience stress, hisand their familyies will suffer becoause they hasve no time for them. This is not good for worker or hiss, their familyies, or sociaety. We need laws to make sureensure that everyone haves a good balance between work and life. With this law, workers can have more time for hithemselfves and histheir family. Heies. They can take rest when they need it. This will make hithem more productive when the isy are working. In conclusion, iI strongly believe that law fors to limit working hour iss are very important and positive thing. It. They protect workers from abuse by companyies and make sureensure that everyone haves a good quality of life. Without thisese laws, many problems will happenarise for worker and hiss, their familyies, and society. So we must haveTherefore, we must implement this law in every country.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task and presents a coherent argument in favour of laws limiting working hours. Key strengths include a clear opinion and a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, spelling, and the development of ideas with more specific examples. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving spelling, and enhancing coherence with better transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples or case studies to support claims and varying vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and a lack of cohesive devices. For example, transitions between sentences could be improved to enhance clarity. Using linking words such as 'furthermore' or 'in addition' would help in creating a smoother progression of ideas.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ('have make', 'must do'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct grammatical structures and varying sentence types to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate for the topic, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'becose', 'helth', 'sociaty') and repetitive phrases (e.g., 'worker', 'law'). To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling. Incorporating synonyms and more sophisticated terms would enhance the lexical resource score.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing the reasons for introducing laws to limit working hours and presents a clear opinion that this is a positive trend. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the arguments could be more elaborated with specific examples. For improvement, the writer could provide more detailed evidence or case studies to support their claims.
5.0

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