Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today's society. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In this mordern world, advertising plays a very important role in society. It helps to inform people about products and services, and can also influences people's opinions and behaviour. However, some advertising uses methods that are unethical and not acceptable. I am partially agree with this statement. On the one hand, many advertisingements use techniques that are not honest or fair. For example, some ads make false claims about the benefits of a product, or use misleading images to make it look better than it actually areis. This can lead to people buying things that they don't really need or that do not work as advertised. Additionally, some advertising targets vulnerable groups like children or the elderly, which is exploitative. These kinds of methods are clearly unethical and should not be allowed. On the other hand, not all advertising areis unethical. Many companies use advertising to provide useful informations about their products and help customers make informed decisions. For example, ads can highlight important features or compare different options, which can be helpful for people when choosing what to buy. Furthermore, advertising is important for businesses to promote themselfves and compete with others. Without advertising, it would be hard for new companies to enter the market and for exisiting ones to reach new customers. In conclusion, while some advertising methods are definaitely unethical and not acceptable, I believe that advertising overall plays an important role in society. It is important to have regulations to prevent exploitative or misleading practices, but advertising should not be completely banned. Businesses need to find a balance between promoting their products effectively and doing so in a way that is honest and respectful to consumers.
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents both sides of the argument regarding unethical advertising methods. Key strengths include a logical structure with distinct paragraphs and relevant examples that support the main points. However, critical areas for improvement include addressing grammatical errors, enhancing coherence with better transitions, and providing a more definitive stance in the conclusion. Structural changes made include correcting subject-verb agreement, improving spelling, and refining the flow of ideas with cohesive devices. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include expanding the range of vocabulary and providing more specific examples to strengthen the argument. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some transitions between points are abrupt, which affects the overall coherence. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'furthermore' or 'in addition,' could enhance the connection between ideas.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('advertising play' should be 'advertising plays') and incorrect article usage ('a important' should be 'an important'). These errors affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical correctness and varying sentence structures.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'advertising' and 'unethical'). Additionally, there are some spelling errors (e.g., 'morden,' 'informations,' 'definately') that detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should aim for a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument regarding unethical advertising methods. However, the position taken is somewhat vague and could be more clearly articulated. To improve, the writer could provide more specific examples and a stronger conclusion that reinforces their stance.
6.5

Related Writing Samples

Part 2
5.0

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Part 2
6.5

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
8.0

We have become a disposable society, preferring to buy new products rather than fixing existing items. What are the causes of this trend and what are the possible solutions?

Part 2
5.5

The tendency that news reports in media focus on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful for individuals and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
7.0

Today single-use products are still very common. Why is this? What are the problems associated with this?

Part 2
6.5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?