Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

It is a controversial topic that whether animal experiments should be banned or not. Some peoples think it is cruel and unnecessecary, but others argue that it brings many benefits to humans and science. In my opinion, I believe that animal testing can be justifield in some cases, but we should try to find other methords if possible. There are someeveral reasons why animal experimentation can be acccepted. Firstly, it has lead to many important discoveries in the past, such as new medicines and treatments for diseases. For example, insulin was first discovered by testing on dogs, and this has saved millions of lifves of people with diabetes. Secondly, animal testing is sometimes the only way to make ensure that a new drug or chemical is safe before using it on humans. It would be unethical to test directly on people without knowing the risks. However, it is also true that animal experiments can causinge a lot of suffering and pain. Many times, the animals are kept in small cages and subjected to painful procedures. This is why many people think it is wrong and should not be allowed. There are also some other methods that can be used instead of animal testing, such as computer simulations, cell cultures, and human volunteers. These alternatives are becoming more advanced and could one day replace animal experiments completely. In conclusion, I think that animal testing is sometimes necessary for the benefits of science and medicine, but it should be avoided whenever possible. We must continue to develop new methods that does not involve animal suffering, and use them whenever we can. Only in cases where there is no other option, should animal experiments can be justifyied.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a balanced view on the topic of animal experimentation, addressing both sides of the argument effectively. Key strengths include a clear position and relevant examples that support the main points. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, spelling, and the use of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of ideas. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving spelling, and enhancing transitions between paragraphs. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more specific examples and elaborating on the alternatives to animal testing. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be improved with better use of cohesive devices. For instance, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. To enhance coherence, the writer could use linking phrases such as 'on the other hand' or 'furthermore' to connect ideas more clearly.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'animal experiments can causing'), incorrect verb forms, and awkward constructions. While the overall meaning is clear, these errors detract from the overall quality of the writing. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and some spelling errors (e.g., 'unessecary', 'justifield', 'acccepted', 'discovred', 'lifes', 'causing', 'manytimes', 'insted', 'alternativs', 'justifyed'). The writer demonstrates some range in vocabulary, but to achieve a higher score, they should aim for more varied and precise word choices. For example, instead of 'many important discoveries', they could say 'numerous groundbreaking advancements'.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument regarding animal experimentation. It presents a clear position that animal testing can be justified in some cases while advocating for alternatives. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, and the conclusion could be stronger by summarizing the key points more effectively. To improve, the writer could provide more specific examples and elaborate on the alternatives mentioned.
6.5

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