Some people believe in "love at first sight", while others think that real love only develops over time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both views on love at first sight and love that develops over time. Key strengths include a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, as well as a balanced presentation of both perspectives. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more developed arguments supported by specific examples, as well as a reduction in spelling and grammatical errors. Structural changes made include correcting spelling mistakes and awkward phrasing to enhance coherence and cohesion. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific studies or examples to strengthen arguments and varying sentence structures for greater grammatical range. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and spelling errors. To improve coherence, the writer should focus on clearer transitions between ideas and ensure that each paragraph logically follows the previous one.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward constructions (e.g., 'you cant truly no someone', 'wich cant be build overnite'). The range of grammatical structures is limited, and many sentences are poorly constructed. To improve, the writer should practice using a variety of sentence structures and ensure grammatical accuracy.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is quite basic and contains numerous spelling errors (e.g., 'peoble', 'frst', 'relatoinship'). While some attempts at varied vocabulary are present, the frequent misspellings detract from the overall effectiveness. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary accurately and checking for spelling mistakes.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on love at first sight and love that develops over time. However, the arguments could be more developed and supported with specific examples. For improvement, the writer could include more detailed evidence or studies to strengthen their points.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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