Some people believe it is important to know their personal strengths and weaknesses, while others think it is better to focus only on developing new skills. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Part 1 (Academic)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In today's world, people have different opinions about whether we should know our strong points and weak points, or just learn new things. I think both views have good reasons, but I believe knowing ourselves is more important for success in life. Many personsople think it is better to just focus ion learning new skills because the world is changing very fast. For example, when I started university, I didn't know anything about computers, but I learned itabout them because I needed them for my studies. Also, if we spend too much time thinking about what we are good at and what we are not good at, we maybe we lose time that we could use for learning useful things that help us in the future. However, I strongly believe that understanding our strengths and weaknesses is more beneficial for our development. When I know what I am good atproficient in, I can use these skills more effectively in my work and daily life. LikFor instance, I am very good at organizing things, so I always help my friends when they need to plan something. Alsodditionally, when we know our weak points, we can make a plan to improve them step by step, which is more effective than just learning random new things. In my experience, the best approach is to combininge both ideas. First, we should understand our strong and weak points, and then we can choose which new skills we need to learn that match with our natural abilities. This wayapproach helps us to develop in a more natural and efficient way. For instance, because I know I am good with numbers, I decided to learn programming, which was easier for me than for some other students. To conclude, while learning new skills is important in the modern world, I think knowing our strengths and weaknesses helps us make better choices about what skills to develop. This makes our learning more focused and successful.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both perspectives on the importance of self-awareness versus skill acquisition, and it presents a clear opinion that prioritizes self-knowledge. Key strengths include a logical flow of ideas and relevant personal examples that support the argument. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and preposition use, as well as the need for more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing transitions between paragraphs, and refining the conclusion for clarity. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of the writing. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and reflective style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. The use of cohesive devices is present, but there are moments where transitions could be smoother. For instance, the phrase 'However, I strongly believe...' could be better linked to the previous paragraph to enhance the flow. More varied cohesive devices could also improve the overall cohesion.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as 'focus in learning' (should be 'focus on learning') and 'what we good at' (should be 'what we are good at'). These errors affect clarity and accuracy. More complex sentence structures could also be employed to enhance the grammatical range.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and conveys the intended meaning. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'good at' and 'learning new skills.' To improve, the writer could use synonyms or more sophisticated expressions, such as 'proficient in' or 'acquiring new competencies.'
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views on the importance of knowing personal strengths and weaknesses versus focusing on developing new skills. The writer provides a clear opinion that knowing oneself is more important for success. However, the argument could be strengthened with more specific examples and a clearer structure in the conclusion.
7.5

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