Some people believe that all children should learn a foreign language from the time they start school, while others believe it is better to wait until a child is in secondary school.

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, many peoples and experts are argues about the goodbest time to start learning a foreign language tofor childsren. Some of them believes that it is important to start as soon as possible, from primary school, butwhile others thinks that secondary school is a better time to begin. In my opinion, I agreeing with the first group, and I will explain why in this essay. First of all, young childsren have morea greater ability to learn new languages than older students. Their brains are more flexible, and they can absorb knowledges more easily. Studies have showedn that childsren who start learning a foreign language at a younger age can achieve a higher level of fluency and proficiencys. They can also develop better pronunciation and accent. Therefore, it makes sense to start teaching foreign languages to childsren from primary school. Secondly, learning a foreign language can brings many benefits to childsren, not just in terms of language skills. It can help them to develop their cognitive abilities, such as memory, concentration, and problem-solving skills. IAdditionally, it can also increase their cultural awareness and understanding of other countries and peoples. These benefits can be valuable for their future education and careers. By starting to learn a foreign language early, childsren can gain these advantages from a young age. Of course, some peoples may argues that childsren in primary school already have many subjects to learn, and adding a foreign language may be too much for them. However, I believes that with the right approach and methods, childsren can learns a foreign language without feeling overwhelmed. Many schools now offers fun and interactive language classes that can keeps childsren engaged and motivated. In conclusion, I strongly believes that childsren should start learning a foreign language from primary school. It can helps them to develop better language skills, cognitive abilities, and cultural understandings. These benefits can be valuable for their future education and careers. Therefore, schools and parents should encourages and supports childsren to learn a foreign language from a young age.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear opinion that children should learn a foreign language from primary school, supported by relevant arguments and examples. Key strengths include a logical structure and a clear stance on the issue. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, vocabulary range, and the depth of argumentation. The structural changes made focused on correcting grammatical errors, improving word forms, and enhancing coherence through better linking phrases. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include providing specific examples of cognitive benefits and varying sentence structures to enhance engagement. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing that disrupt the flow. For example, phrases like 'young childs have more ability' could be restructured for clarity. Improving the use of linking words and phrases would enhance the overall cohesion of the essay.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('peoples are argues'), incorrect verb forms ('start learn'), and pluralization errors ('childs'). While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence structures, the frequent errors detract from the overall clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and practicing correct sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used in the essay is adequate but shows some repetition, particularly with the word 'childs' and 'peoples.' There are also several instances of incorrect word forms, such as 'proficiencys' and 'argues.' To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct word forms are used. Incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary would also enhance the overall quality.
5.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by presenting a clear opinion that children should learn a foreign language from primary school. It provides relevant arguments and examples to support this viewpoint. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, and some points could be elaborated further for greater clarity and depth. For instance, discussing specific cognitive benefits with examples would strengthen the argument.
6.5

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