Some people believe that getting married before the age of 30 is the best way to build a successful life with a partner. Do you agree or disagree with this view? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In my opeinion, marrying before 30 is not the best way to building a successful life for a partner. There is a lot ofare many reasons for this, which I will explain now. First of all, iI think young people should focus on themselfves first instead of rushing forinto marriage. They need to developing their careers and find stable jobs before starting a family. If they get married too early, it can causinge financial strain and stress in relationships. Young couples may not have saved enoufgh money yet to support a family and deal with the responsibilities of marriage. Secondly, marrying before 30 means you have less time to explore and finding the right partner. People change a lot in their 20s as they experience new things and grow as a personindividuals. If you settled down too early, you might realizinge later that your partner is not compataible with the person you have becomed. ItThis can leading to an unhappy marriage or even divorce. It is better to date different people and really get to know yourselvef before making a big commitment like marriage. Of course, theire are some advantage ofs to getting married young too. You have more time to spend with your partner and can support each other through the challenges of early adulthood. Andditionally, if you want to have children, it can be goodbeneficial to start a family while you are young and have a lot of energy. In conclusion, while there may be some benefits to marrying before 30, I believe it is overall better to wait until you are more established in life. Focussing on personal growth and finding the righte partner areis more important for long-term happiness than rushhing into marriage at a young age. Of course, every situastion is different, and some couples may be ready for commitment earlier thean others. ButHowever, in general, takeing your time can lead to a more successfuld and fulfilling marriage in the long run.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear argument against marrying before 30, supported by relevant reasons. Key strengths include a logical structure and clear topic sentences in each paragraph. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, vocabulary range, and the inclusion of more specific examples to strengthen the argument. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving word choice, and enhancing transitions between ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating statistics or studies related to marriage age and success rates, as well as using a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of the essay. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and reasoned approach throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, using phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could enhance the flow of the argument. Improving the linking of ideas would elevate the coherence.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('marring' instead of 'marrying'), incorrect verb forms ('realizing' instead of 'realize'), and spelling mistakes ('enouf', 'compatable', 'situasion'). These errors affect the clarity of the writing. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and practicing complex sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetition and misused words (e.g., 'openion' instead of 'opinion', 'beter' instead of 'better'). The essay could benefit from a wider range of vocabulary and more precise word choices. To improve, the writer should aim to use synonyms and more sophisticated expressions.
5.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position against marrying before 30 and provides reasons to support this view. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples or personal experiences to strengthen the argument. For improvement, the writer could include statistics or studies related to marriage age and success rates.
6.0

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