Some people believe that governments should pay full course fees for students who want to study in universities. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

'Nowadays, the topic of whether the government should pays for university fees for every students are is becoming more and more controversial. I am completely agree with the idea that governments should pay course fees for students who want to go to university. There are several reasons to explain my opinion. First of all, education is very important for the development of society and the economy of a nation. If the government pays for university fees, more students will canbe able to attend university and receive higher education, which will be beneficial for the country in the future. More educated people means more skilled workers, better technology, and a stronger economy. Paying for university fees is an investment ofby the government for the future of the nation. Moreover, paying for university fees will provide equal opportunityies for all students, regardless of their financial background. Many students from poor familyies cannot afford expensive university fees, so they have to give up their dream of higher education. This is unfair and a waste of talent. If the government pays for university fees, every student will have the same chance to go to university based on their academic ability, not their family wealth. This will create a more fair and just society. In conclutsion, iI strongly agree that the government should pay full course fees for students who want to study inat university. It is good for the development of the country and provides equal opportunityies for all students. GThe government should invest in education for a better future ofor the nation and society.'
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear argument in favour of government funding for university fees, which is a key strength. The structure is generally sound, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there are critical areas for improvement, particularly in grammatical accuracy and lexical resource. The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and incorrect article usage, which detract from the overall quality. Additionally, the vocabulary could be more varied to avoid repetition and enhance clarity. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving the flow of ideas with better transitions, and ensuring proper paragraph structure. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples to support the argument and exploring the implications of the points made in greater depth. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved. For example, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother, and some sentences could be better linked to enhance the flow of the argument. Using phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could help in connecting ideas more effectively.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('government should pays' should be 'government should pay') and incorrect article usage ('for every students' should be 'for every student'). While the overall meaning is clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, but there are instances of repetition and some misused words (e.g., 'opinion' is misspelled as 'opinon', 'important' as 'impotant', and 'opportunity' as 'oppotunity'). To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repetition by using synonyms or varied expressions.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position in favor of government funding for university fees. It presents relevant reasons and examples to support this viewpoint. However, the development of ideas could be enhanced with more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the implications of the argument. For instance, discussing specific benefits to the economy or society could strengthen the argument.
6.5

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