Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Part 2
7.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In today's world, there are many ways to travel in a city, but the two most common are by car and bicycle. Some people think that using a car is the best way to get around a city, while others argue that riding a bicycle is better. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion. On the one hand, those who favor cars argue that they are more convenient and faster than bicycles. Cars can carry more people and luggage, and they can travel long distances without getting tired. They also provide protection from bad weather such as rain or snow. Additionally, cars are seen as a status symbol, and many people aspire to own a car as a sign of success and prestige. On the other hand, those who prefer bicycles point out that they are more environmentally friendly and healthyier than cars. Bicycles do not produce any pollution or greenhouse gases, and they do not contribute to traffic congestion in cities. Riding a bicycle is also a good form of exercise that can improve physical fitness and reduce the risk of obesity and other health problems. Moreover, bicycles are cheaper to own and maintain than cars, and they do not require expensive fuel or parking fees. In my opinion, I believe that bicycles are a better way to travelmode of transport in a city than cars. While cars have some advantages in terms of speed and convenience, I think that the benefits of bicycles outweigh those of cars. As someone who lives in a city, I have seen firsthand how traffic congestion and air pollution can negatively impact the quality of life. Riding a bicycle not only helps to reduce these problems, but it also allows me to save money and stay healthy at the same time. Of course, I recognize that not everyone is able to ride a bicycle due to physical limitations or other reasons, but for those who can, I strongly believe that it is the best way to get around a city. In conclusion, while both cars and bicycles have their advantages and disadvantages when it comes to travelling in a city, I believe that bicycles are the better choice overall. They are more environmentally friendly, healthyier, and cost-effective than cars, and they can help to reduce traffic congestion and improve the quality of life in cities. Therefore, I would encourage more people to consider riding a bicycle instead of driving a car whenever possible.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both views on the topic of transportation in cities and clearly presents the writer's opinion. Key strengths include a well-organized structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing each viewpoint, and a conclusion that summarizes the main points. The use of cohesive devices enhances the flow of the essay. However, there are critical areas for improvement, such as minor grammatical errors and repetitive phrases that could be varied for greater lexical richness. The structural changes made include correcting minor grammatical errors and enhancing clarity by using 'mode of transport' instead of 'way to travel.' Further improvements could involve incorporating specific examples or statistics to strengthen arguments and varying the vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing each viewpoint, and a conclusion that summarizes the main points. The use of cohesive devices, such as 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand,' effectively links ideas and enhances the flow of the essay. Minor improvements could be made by varying the use of cohesive devices to avoid repetition.
8.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, with mostly accurate usage. However, there are some minor errors, such as 'in city' instead of 'in a city' and 'using car' instead of 'using a car.' These errors do not significantly impede understanding but do detract from the overall accuracy. To improve, the writer should proofread for such minor mistakes and aim for greater grammatical precision.
7.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate and varied, with terms like 'environmentally friendly,' 'traffic congestion,' and 'status symbol' demonstrating a good range. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'better way to travel' and 'advantages and disadvantages,' which could be replaced with synonyms or rephrased for greater lexical variety. Additionally, a few word choices could be more precise.
7.5
Task Achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both views on the topic of transportation in cities and clearly presents the writer's opinion. The arguments are well-developed with relevant examples, such as the environmental benefits of bicycles and the convenience of cars. To improve further, the writer could include more specific examples or statistics to strengthen their points.
8.0

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