Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, there are beingis much discussiong about the sharing of informations in science, business, and academia. Some peoples think it is good to share all possible informations in these fields freely. However, others are believinge that some informations are being too much is too valuable to be shared without any control. I will discuss about this both opinions and give my view. On the one hand, forproponents of sharing all informations freely proponents, they argue that it can fasacceleraten the progress of knowledge in different areas. When researchers can easily access to others' research outcomes easily, it will, it helps them avoiding doing same thing duplicating efforts and focus onto new thingdevelopments. This is especially true forin scientifice research fields like physics or medicine, where new inventions or discoveryies always build on existing knowledges. BesidesFurthermore, free sharing can also encourage collaborationg between companies or universities, which may lead forto more innovations. But there are also som On the other hand, there are strong argue for noments against sharing all informations completely freely. The main reason areis that some knowledge can being used in harmful ways if not controlled strictly. For examples, detailsed informations about nuclear technology or biologiescal weapons should not fall into the wrong hands. In additions, for businesses, their unique technologies or strategies are usually considered as important propertieassets that givprovide them with competitive advantages, so they will not are often unwilling to share such informations with others and lost their advantages.risk losing their edge. In my opinion, I agree with both sides to some extendst. I believe it is goodbeneficial to share informations in general, especially for basic scientifice research that can benefits all of human kindsity. However, it is also necessary to putimpose limits on some sensitive informations that involves national secureity or can beingould be misused to harm societies. Besidesy. Additionally, I think businesses should have the right forto protecting their own valuabled informations. In conclusions, informations sharing should be encouraged but also needs to be regulated on a case-by-case basis.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by discussing both views on information sharing and providing the author's opinion. Key strengths include a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, vocabulary range, and coherence. The structural changes made include correcting awkward phrasing, ensuring proper subject-verb agreement, and enhancing transitions between ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more specific examples and elaborating on the reasoning behind opinions. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. For instance, phrases like 'for sharing all informations freely proponents' could be restructured for clarity. Using more cohesive devices and ensuring logical progression between sentences would enhance coherence.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ('are being,' 'can being'), subject-verb agreement issues ('Some peoples think'), and awkward sentence structures. While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence construction, the frequent errors detract from overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures more effectively.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetitive word usage, such as 'informations' and 'knowledge.' Additionally, some phrases are awkwardly constructed, such as 'being much discussing' and 'can being misused.' To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct word forms and collocations.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views on information sharing and providing the author's opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the examples provided could be more specific and relevant. To improve, the writer could elaborate on the examples and provide clearer reasoning for their opinions.
6.0

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