Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

'Some peoples are thinking that it is the best to accept a bad situation, for example, a job that is not satisfactory or not having enufough money. On the other hand, other people ares arguinge that trying to improve those situations is better. I partly agree towith the first view that accepting a bad situation is best, becozause sometimes we can"t change the situation no matter how much effort we put in. For exeample, if the job market is really bad and we don not have the required skills or experience for a better job, then we have to accept the unsatisfactory job that we have. Alsodditionally, if we are havfacing a shortage of money due to the poor economic conditions in our country, we have tomust accept it and live within our means. However, I also believe that in most cases, we should try to improve our bad situations. If we are not satisfied with our job, we can look for ways to gain new skills or education that can help us to getsecure a better job. We can also try to find a new job that matches our qualifications and interests. Similarly, if we are faexperiencing a shortage of money, we can try to findseek ways to increase our income by doingtaking on part-time work or starting a small business. In conclusion, while sometimesthere are times when we may have to accept a bad situation, I believe that in most cases, we should stryive to improve our situationcircumstances by putting in effort and finding creative solutions. It is better to take action and tryattempt to make our lives better, rather than simply accepting a bad situation and doing nothing about it.'
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a balanced discussion of the two views regarding accepting a bad situation versus trying to improve it. Key strengths include a clear opinion and logical flow of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more specific examples and a clearer structure, particularly in the use of topic sentences and cohesive devices. Structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, enhancing grammatical accuracy, and improving the clarity of sentences. Additionally, transitions between ideas were smoothed out to enhance coherence. For further improvements, the writer could incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary and varied sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of the essay. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical flow, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, phrases like 'On the other hand' and 'In conclusion' are used, but more varied linking words could improve the overall coherence. Additionally, clearer topic sentences for each paragraph would help guide the reader through the argument.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates some grammatical range, but there are several errors in sentence structure, verb forms, and punctuation (e.g., 'we cant change', 'we are having a shortage of money'). These errors occasionally hinder clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct verb tenses and ensuring subject-verb agreement. Additionally, varying sentence structures could enhance the overall grammatical range.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of informal language and spelling errors (e.g., 'peoples', 'enuf', 'becoz', 'exemple', 'dont'). While the writer attempts to use a range of vocabulary, the presence of these errors detracts from the overall impression. To improve, the writer should focus on using more formal language and ensuring correct spelling, as well as incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary where possible.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views regarding accepting a bad situation and trying to improve it. The writer presents a clear opinion, indicating partial agreement with the first view while also advocating for improvement in most cases. However, the development of ideas could be enhanced with more specific examples and a clearer structure. For instance, elaborating on the consequences of accepting a bad situation or providing more detailed strategies for improvement would strengthen the argument.
6.5

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