Some people believe that modern architecture has made cities more attractive in the last century. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Part 2
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

I mostly agree with the statement that modern architecture has made the cities more attractive in the past century. The reasons I feel this way isare that modern buildings are much taller, more unique, and use better materials than the old buildings before. Firstly, many modern buildings are skyscrapers and much higher than old buildings. In my city, there are many tall skyscrapers in the downtown area that create a very impressive and attractive skyline. The tall skyscrapers impress people and make them think the city is an important and successful place. For example, tourists always take photos of the skyscrapers because they think it makes the city looks modern and powerful. Also Moreover, I believe modern architecture is more unique and creative compared to old buildings. In the past, many of buildings were lookinged very similar and were not interesting. However, nowadays, many modern buildings have unique shapes and designs that look much more attractive, like the bBird's nNest sStadium ofin Beijing or dthe Dancing hHouse ofin Prague. These landmarks buildings attract many tourists who want to see the unique designs, so it makesmaking the city more beautiful and interesting to visit. Furthermore, modern architecture uses much better materials than in the past century. Old buildings used mainly justed bricks, wood, and basic concrete. ButIn contrast, modern buildings use shiny glass, smooth steel, and decorative concrete, which create a much more attractive appearance. The modern materials make buildings look cleaner, brighter, and more impressive compared to old constructions, so itthus improveing how the city looks. In conclusion, although not everyone may agree, I believe the modern architecture has definitely have made cities much more attractive in recent times. ItThis is because modern buildings are taller, more unique, and have better materials, which all together improvenhance the visual appeal of the city for both residents and visitors.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt, presenting a clear position that modern architecture has enhanced the attractiveness of cities. Key strengths include the relevant examples provided, such as skyscrapers and specific landmarks, which support the main ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for smoother transitions between ideas and a more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition. Additionally, grammatical accuracy needs attention, particularly in subject-verb agreement and article usage. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing cohesion with varied linking words, and improving clarity in some sentences. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include acknowledging potential counterarguments regarding modern architecture's impact on historical contexts and expanding on the discussion of how modern architecture influences urban life. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and analytical style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of modern architecture, contributing to the overall argument. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved; for instance, transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance the flow of the essay. Phrases like 'Firstly,' 'Also,' and 'Furthermore' are used, but more varied linking words could enhance cohesion.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'the cities more attractive in past century' should be 'the cities more attractive in the past century,' and 'the modern architecture definitely have made' should be 'the modern architecture definitely has made.' These errors, along with some awkward constructions, indicate a need for more careful proofreading and grammatical accuracy.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and conveys the intended meaning effectively. Terms like 'skyscrapers,' 'unique shapes,' and 'decorative concrete' demonstrate a good range. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'modern buildings' and 'city,' which could be varied to enhance lexical richness. Additionally, minor inaccuracies in word forms, such as 'the modern architecture definitely have' instead of 'the modern architecture definitely has,' detract slightly from the overall lexical quality.
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, presenting a clear position that modern architecture has enhanced the attractiveness of cities. The main ideas are developed with relevant examples, such as the mention of skyscrapers and specific landmarks. However, the argument could be strengthened by acknowledging potential counterarguments or discussing the impact of modern architecture on the historical context of cities.
7.5

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