Some people believe that once a person becomes a criminal, he will always be a criminal. Do you agree with this statement? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Part 2
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

I amdo not agree with the statement that once a person becomes a criminal, he will always be a criminal. There are many reasons why I think this way. First of all, people can change. Just because someone made a mistake in the past, it does not mean they will continue to make the same mistake in the future. Many criminals realize the error of their ways and work hard to turn their lifeves around. With the right support and guidance, they can become productive members of society again. Secondly, not all crimes are equal. Some crimes are more serious than others. For example, a person who committed a minor offense like shoplifting is not the same as someone who committed a violent crime like murder. It is unfair to label all criminals as the same and assume they will always be criminals. Moreover, understanding the context of a crime can also shed light on the potential for rehabilitation. Lastly, it is important to give people second chances. If we do not believe that people can change, then we are not giving them the opportunity to prove themselves. Everyone deserves a chance to redeem themselves and make a better life for themselves. In addition, providing support systems can significantly aid in this process. In conclusion, I disagree with the statement that once a person becomes a criminal, they will always be a criminal. People can change, not all crimes are equal, and everyone deserves a second chance. We should not judge people based on their past mistakes, but rather on their present actions and intentions.
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a clear position against the notion that criminals will always remain criminals. Key strengths include a well-structured argument with relevant reasons and examples, demonstrating an understanding of the topic. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly in verb forms, and the need for more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing transitions between points with phrases like 'Moreover' and 'In addition,' and slightly varying the vocabulary to improve lexical richness. Further improvements could involve incorporating specific examples or statistics to strengthen the arguments and using more complex sentence structures to showcase a higher level of grammatical range. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ideas are logically sequenced, and cohesive devices are used appropriately. However, the transitions between some ideas could be smoother to enhance the overall flow. For instance, using phrases like 'Moreover' or 'In addition' could help in linking the second and third points more effectively.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors that affect clarity. For example, 'I am not agree' should be 'I do not agree,' and 'once a person become' should be 'once a person becomes.' While these errors are not overly distracting, they do indicate a need for more careful proofreading and grammatical accuracy. More complex sentence structures could also be employed to showcase a higher level of grammatical range.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and conveys the intended meaning. Phrases like 'turn their life around' and 'second chances' demonstrate a good range of vocabulary. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'criminal' and 'change,' which could be varied to enhance lexical richness. Incorporating synonyms or more sophisticated expressions could elevate the score in this area.
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, presenting a clear position against the statement that criminals will always remain criminals. The writer provides relevant reasons and examples to support their opinion, such as the potential for change and the varying severity of crimes. However, the argument could be strengthened with more specific examples or statistics to enhance the persuasiveness of the points made.
7.5

Related Writing Samples

Part 2
5.0

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Part 2
6.5

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
8.0

We have become a disposable society, preferring to buy new products rather than fixing existing items. What are the causes of this trend and what are the possible solutions?

Part 2
5.5

The tendency that news reports in media focus on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful for individuals and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
7.0

Today single-use products are still very common. Why is this? What are the problems associated with this?

Part 2
6.5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?