Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others think they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In today's world, many people think about whether high-level professionals should remain in their country of studiesy. However, part of the peoplesulation believes they shallould be allowed to move into another country if wantthey wish. Let me give my humble opinion on this important topic. On the one hand, when doctors, ingenieuengineers, and others receive their education in any country, that nation has afforded them many years of learning and knowledge. SoTherefore, Iit is reasonable to expect they should stay there and contribute back their expertizse to develop thate nation that has helped them. When moving foreignabroad, it can becomelead to a sorts of brain drain and loss of precious human ressources for the origin country. LA lot of money invested in universityies goes to waste. But then again On the other hand, according to other ones, professionals should have the ability to make their own decisions after gradeuation. In today's globaleized world, the movement of skilled workers is a normal and healthy process. If doctors and engineers needs to go for better opportunityies or life quality of life, or to join their familyies, its bad is detrimental to restrain them. They are not slaves but peopleindividuals with freedoms, and such constraints limits their professional and personal development. More countries benefit from theire skills in this ways. For me, professionals must have the rights to choose freely to go in to another country if it is important to them. Personnally, liberty is a main priority and a basic human righte. I am convinced that the exchange of knowledge, and expertise will uplift humanity. Borders should not block the talents, and skill sets tohat can help more peopele. Of course, we need to encourage and motivate experts to stay by givoffering good salaries and treatement. This is a better solution thean forceibly constraining them. In conclusion, doctors and engineers havmake many beneficial contribution for thes to society. We need to value their training and expertise, but not by limiting their geographical options. It is not ethikcal to steal their personal choices. Instead make, we should create a good environment to attract them to stay by themselfvoluntarily.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by discussing both views regarding professionals working in their country of training and providing a personal opinion. Key strengths include a logical structure with clear paragraphs and a relevant topic. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more thorough development of ideas, specific examples, and improved coherence through better transitions. The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and awkward phrasing that could be enhanced with a wider range of vocabulary. Grammatical accuracy is another area needing attention, as several errors affect clarity. Structural changes made include improving transitions between ideas and correcting grammatical errors. For further improvement, the writer could incorporate specific examples or statistics to strengthen arguments and ensure consistent use of punctuation. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a respectful and formal approach throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some transitions between sentences and ideas are abrupt, which affects the overall coherence. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'furthermore' or 'in addition,' could enhance the connection between ideas. Additionally, the introduction could better outline the main points to be discussed.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates some grammatical range, but there are several errors that affect clarity, such as 'that nation afforded them many years of learning' and 'its bad to restrain them.' The use of punctuation is inconsistent, and there are issues with subject-verb agreement. To improve, the writer should focus on sentence structure and ensure grammatical accuracy, as well as proofreading for minor errors.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and awkward phrasing, such as 'peoples' instead of 'people' and 'abity' instead of 'ability.' There are also some spelling errors, such as 'ingenieurs' and 'personnaly.' To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling and usage, which would enhance the overall quality of the writing.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views regarding professionals working in their country of training and provides a clear opinion. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples to support the arguments. For instance, mentioning specific countries that experience brain drain or providing statistics on the benefits of skilled migration would strengthen the argument.
6.5

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