Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by the teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, there are differents opinions about homework for childrens in school. Some peoples think that teachers should not give homework to students, but other people believe homework is very importancet for the education of children. In this essay i, I will discuss both views and give my opinion. On the one hand, many personindividuals argue that homeworks is not necessary for school childrens. They say that students already spend many hours in school every day, so they need time to relax and play at home. Alsodditionally, some parents think that too much homework can make children stressed and unhappy. They believe that children should have more free times to enjoy their childhood and develop their hobbies and interests. On the other hand, there are several reasons why homework is importsignificant for the education of school children. Firstly, homework helps students to practice and review what they have learned in class. It gives them extra time to understand the subject and remember the informations. Secondly, homework teaches children to be responsible and manage their time well. They learn to plan their study schedule and complete their tasks on time. Finally, homework allows parents to be involved in their child's education. They can see what their child is learning in school and help them with any difficulties. In conclusion, while there are some benefits to not giving homework to school children, iI believe that homework plays a crucial role in their education. It helps them to consolidate their learning, develops important life skills, and involves parents in their academic progress. Therefore, iI think that teachers should continue to give appropriate and reasonable amounts of homework to their students.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both views on homework and providing a clear opinion. Key strengths include a logical structure with clear paragraphs and a relevant conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more thorough development of ideas, particularly through specific examples or statistics to support arguments. Additionally, the essay contains several grammatical errors and incorrect word forms, which detract from its overall quality. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving vocabulary usage, and enhancing coherence with better transitions. For further improvements, the writer could incorporate more varied sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some transitions between sentences and ideas are abrupt. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'furthermore' or 'in addition,' could enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('homeworks is not necessary'), incorrect plural forms ('childrens,' 'peoples'), and capitalization errors ('i' should be 'I'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of incorrect word forms and repetition, such as 'homeworks' instead of 'homework' and 'importance' instead of 'important.' To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct usage, such as using 'significant' instead of 'important.'
5.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views on homework and providing a clear opinion. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples to support the arguments. For instance, citing studies or statistics on the impact of homework on student performance could strengthen the argument.
6.5

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