Some people believe that smartphones have become an essential part of modern life, while others think they can have negative effects. Discuss both advantages and disadvantages of using smartphones. Write at least 250 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In today's world, smartphones have become very important for most people. They help us do many things, but they also makcreate some problems for us. IThis essay will discuss both good and not good points aboutthe advantages and disadvantages of using smartphones in our daily life.ves. First of all, smartphones give us manyprovide numerous benefits in our lifeves. The most important thingaspect is that we can contact with our family and friends anywhere and anytime. For example, when I am at university, I always use my phone to message my parents and tell themreassure them that I am okay. Alsodditionally, smartphones helpenable us to find information very fastquickly. When I don't know something, I justsimply search it on my phone and get answer quicks promptly. This is verparticularly useful for students like me who need to learn new things all the time. However, usingexcessive smartphones too much can make some use can lead to several problems for people. One bsig problemnificant issue is that many peopleindividuals spend too much time looking at their phones. I often see my friends always checking their social media during class, and they cannotwhich prevents them from focusing on what the teacher is saying. Another problemconcern is that smartphones can make our eyes tired and give us bad sleepcause eye strain and disrupt our sleep patterns. Sometimes, I use my phone before sleeping, and then I cannotas a result, I struggle to sleep well inat night. Furthermore, smartphones can make people less social in real life. When I go to a cafeé with my friends, I notice that everyone is looking atengrossed in their phones instead of talking toengaging in conversation with each other. This observation makes me feel sad because we should enjoycherish our time together instead of looking atrather than fixate on screens. In conclusion, I thinkbelieve smartphones bring both advantages and disadvantages to our lives. While they help usfacilitate communicateion and findprovide easy access to information easily, we must be carefulutious not to let them controldominate our lives too much. It is important. It is essential to find a good balance between using smartphones and having real-life interactions with people.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of smartphones, providing relevant examples. Key strengths include a clear structure and logical flow of ideas, which aids coherence. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the depth of analysis regarding the implications of excessive smartphone use and varying the use of cohesive devices for smoother transitions. Structural changes made include refining the introduction for clarity and adjusting some phrases for grammatical accuracy. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and complex sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical proficiency. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, which aids coherence. However, the use of cohesive devices could be more varied; for instance, transitions between points could be smoother. Phrases like 'first of all' and 'however' are effective but could be supplemented with more diverse linking words.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as 'contact with' instead of 'contacting' and 'get answer quickly' which should be 'get answers quickly.' Additionally, some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects clarity. More complex sentence structures could be employed to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical proficiency.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, with some good expressions such as 'contact with our family and friends' and 'find information very fast.' However, there is some repetition of phrases like 'using smartphones' and 'problems for us.' To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms or more sophisticated vocabulary to enhance the richness of the language.
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of smartphones, providing relevant examples. However, it could be improved by offering a more nuanced analysis of the points made, such as discussing the implications of excessive smartphone use in greater detail. Additionally, a clearer thesis statement in the introduction would enhance the overall clarity.
7.5

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