Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 1 (General)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In this modern era, it is argued that unpaid community service must be a compulsaory part of high school education, for examplesuch as working for charity, teaching sports to youngers individuals, or improveing the neighbourhood. I completely agree with this statement because it can develop important life skills and it can enhance theirstudents' sense of social responsibility. Firstly, by engageing in different types of community service, students can gain many valuable life skills that are benefitcial for theire future, such as leadership, communication, and problem-solving. For instance, when students work with a charity organization, they need to interact with people from different backgrounds and communicate effectively to achieve a common goal. This experience can help students become more confident and develop their interpersonal skills, which are crucial in theire personal and professional lifves. Secondly, participating in community service can help students become more socially responsible citizens. Through this activity, they can see firsthand the challaenges that many people in theire community face, such as poverty, illness, or lack of education. By contributeing theire time and effort to address thisese issues, students can develop a stronger sense of empathy and a desire to make a positive impact to theon society. This can lead to more engaged and active citizens in the future. In conclusion, iI strongly agree that unpayeid community services should be a compulsaory part of high shchool programmes. It can help students develop importeant life skills and foster a sense of social responsibility, which are essenstial for theire personal growth and for the betterment of society as a whole.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a strong argument in favour of compulsory unpaid community service in high schools. Key strengths include a well-defined position and relevant examples that support the main points. However, critical areas for improvement include addressing potential counterarguments to create a more balanced discussion, enhancing the use of cohesive devices for better flow, and correcting spelling and grammatical errors to improve overall clarity. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors and ensuring proper spelling while maintaining the original flow. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating a brief mention of possible drawbacks of compulsory community service and using a wider range of vocabulary. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be enhanced with better use of cohesive devices. For example, using phrases like 'on the other hand' or 'furthermore' could help in transitioning between points more smoothly.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'it is argue', 'by engage', 'student can help', 'to address this issues'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors affect the overall accuracy. Improving grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures would enhance the score.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'comunity', 'compulsary', 'benefitial', 'diferent', 'achive', 'challanges', 'ilness', 'contribute', 'importent', 'sens', 'essensial', 'hole') that detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position in favor of compulsory unpaid community service in high school. However, it could be improved by providing more specific examples and a more balanced discussion of potential counterarguments. For instance, mentioning possible drawbacks or challenges of implementing such a program would strengthen the argument.
6.5

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