Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behavior. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Part 2
4.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Some personsople think that ifwhen visiting another country, one must do the same likas the locals do. For example eat what they eat, and wear, they should eat what locals eat, wear the same clothings, and do things likeengage in they done every day for theys lifesaily activities of the local people. I agree with this view becoause it shows respect for the place which isbeing visit toed by foreign personindividuals. When a local person sees that a tourist tryies to dobehave like they does, they will think that this tourist haves good manners and wants to understan our life, itd their way of life. It does not make sencse for them to keep own ways only. Other body saysmaintain their own ways exclusively. On the other hand, some argue that when tourists come, local people must likshould appreciate what tourists do, even if it is different. I disagree towith this becoause it make local person not havecan lead to local people losing their own identity, and t. Tourists should find outseek to learn about the new place selfthemselves instead of want all place same likeexpecting everything to be the same as in their own country. Sometimes, tourist maks create problems by doing things whichthat are considered rude in the host country, twhisch can make local personople very angry to tourist and maybe not want to help tourist. Soand reluctant to assist them. Therefore, tourists should be very carefull when visiting other places and try to understand the local way. For me I belive thatcustoms. In my opinion, tourists need to adjus ownt their behaviour when going to another country, but they do not have to do everything 100% like the locals. Just make sureIt is important to reseearch befor goehand and find out what is ok and not ok to doacceptable and what is not, sto no make big problem foravoid causing significant issues for the locals. Local personople should understand small differences, but if bigthe difference then can maks are substantial, it can create difficultyies for everyone. Therefore i think, I believe tourists should try to do like local mostly and only keepfollow local customs as much as possible while keeping their own ways for smallminor things or dowhen they are alone in their hotel, not in public places. So thatThis is my view on thise issue withof visiting another country.
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the task by addressing both perspectives regarding tourists and local customs. Key strengths include a clear opinion and a structured approach with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more developed arguments and clearer examples to support the points made. The use of cohesive devices and transitions between ideas could be enhanced to improve coherence and flow. Additionally, the vocabulary used is quite basic and repetitive, with several instances of incorrect word forms, which detracts from the overall quality. The grammatical accuracy is also a concern, with numerous errors affecting clarity. Structural changes made include improving the clarity of topic sentences and enhancing transitions between paragraphs. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include expanding on specific examples and providing more detailed reasoning to support the arguments. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and respectful approach throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed, and transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved. For instance, using cohesive devices such as 'on the other hand' or 'furthermore' would enhance the logical progression of ideas. Improving coherence would involve clearer topic sentences and linking phrases.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement, incorrect verb forms, and sentence structure. For example, phrases like 'if visit other country must do same like locals do' are awkward and unclear. To improve, the writer should focus on constructing grammatically correct sentences and varying sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence.
4.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is quite basic and repetitive, with several instances of incorrect word forms (e.g., 'clothings', 'becose', 'understan'). While some appropriate terms are used, the overall range is limited. To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider variety of vocabulary and ensure correct usage, such as 'clothing' instead of 'clothings' and 'understand' instead of 'understan'.
4.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views regarding visitors following local customs and the host country welcoming cultural differences. However, the arguments are not fully developed, and the examples provided lack depth and clarity. To improve, the writer could elaborate on the points made, providing more specific examples and clearer reasoning to support their opinion.
5.0

Related Writing Samples

Part 2
5.0

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Part 2
6.5

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
8.0

We have become a disposable society, preferring to buy new products rather than fixing existing items. What are the causes of this trend and what are the possible solutions?

Part 2
5.5

The tendency that news reports in media focus on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful for individuals and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
7.0

Today single-use products are still very common. Why is this? What are the problems associated with this?

Part 2
6.5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?