Some people claim that what many people eat in western countries is unhealthy and their diet is getting worse. Critics say that these countries should change their diet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

People nowadays in western countryies do not have very healthy food. They eat so much junk food that is full of fat and carbohydrates. This happens because people do not have time to cook healthy food at home or they do not know how to cook healthy meals. Restarurants and fast food chains sell unhealthy food forat a cheap price, so people buy them to eat. I agree that the diet in the western countryies is getting worse. First, people are busy with work and they do not hasve time forto cook at home. When they come back from work, they are tired and want to eat food fast. Soquickly. Therefore, they go to fast food restaurants or order takeaway food. This food has a lot of oil, fat, and sugar, which is not good for health. If people cook at home, they can control what ingredients to put in food and make it more healthy. ier. Second, many people do not know how to cook healthy food. They think healthy food is expensive and tastes bad. But thHowever, this is not true. There are many healthy recipes online that are easy to make and delicious. GThe government should teach people about nutrition and how to cook healthy meals. Schools should also teach students about healthy eating habits from a young age. In concludesion, I agree that the diet in western countryies is becomeing worse because of a busy lifestyle and a lack of knowledge about healthy eating. GThe government and schools need to educate people about the importance of a healthy diet and teach them how to cook nutritious meals at home. This way, people can improve their diet and live healthier lifeves.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument regarding unhealthy diets in western countries. Key strengths include a clear stance on the issue and a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include addressing spelling and grammatical errors, enhancing coherence with better transitions, and providing more depth in the argument with specific examples or statistics. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving spelling, and enhancing the flow of ideas with better transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific examples or studies to support claims and expanding vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed, and transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved. For instance, using cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' would enhance the logical progression of ideas.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a basic command of grammar, but there are numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'people do not has time'), incorrect verb forms, and awkward sentence structures. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'nowaday', 'carbohydrat', 'helthy', 'Restarunt') that detract from the overall quality. The writer could benefit from using a wider range of vocabulary and avoiding repetition, such as using synonyms for 'healthy' and 'food' to enhance the richness of the text.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by expressing agreement with the statement that diets in western countries are unhealthy. However, it lacks depth in developing the argument and providing specific examples. To improve, the writer could include statistics or studies to support their claims about unhealthy eating habits and the benefits of cooking at home.
5.5

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