Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In some countries, people are allowed to get married when they're 18 years old or even younger than this. But some people are thinking. However, some believe this age is too low for getting marriaged. They are believing thegue that the legal age for marriage should be increased to at least 21 years old. I amdo not completely agreeing with this idea completely. There are someeveral reasons why i amI do not fully agree withsupport increasing the marriage age. The first reason is that at the age of 18, most people are adults and can make they'reir own decisions in life, including the decision of getting married withto marry someone they love. If the government will increases the marriage age, it's like not may be perceived as a lack of trust ing young adults to make important decisions in their lifves. Another reason is thatdditionally, in some cultures and religions, getting marrying at a young age is common and acceptable. Increasing the marriage age canould be seen as not disrespecting thisese cultural and religionus tradition. However, i am alsos. On the other hand, I understanding the reasons why some people want toadvocate for raising the legal age for marriage. One reason is that getting married is very bigcomes with significant responsibilities. People need to be mature enough, both emotionally and finanscially, to handle the challenges of married life. At age ofs 18 or 19, many peopleindividuals are still studying in school or university and don not have stable jobs yet. They might be not be ready to support a family. AnoFurther reason is thatmore, young people mightcan change a lotsignificantly in just a few years. What they want at age 18 can bemay different from what they will wanttheir desires at age 21 or 22. If young people get marriedy too early, they might regret it later when theyir priorities change. In conclusion, iI believe the legal age for getting marriaged should bstrike a balance. It should not be too low, but alsoit should also not be too high untilexcessively high, such as 21 years old. In my opinion, 19 or 20 years old is gooda suitable age for allowing young people to marry. At this age, they are adults who can make they'reir own choices, but they are also mature enough to understanding the responsibilities of marriage.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a balanced view on the topic of the legal marriage age, addressing both sides of the argument. Key strengths include a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, as well as the inclusion of relevant points. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for a more definitive stance in the introduction and conclusion, as well as the enhancement of coherence through better use of cohesive devices. Structural changes made include the addition of transitional phrases like 'on the other hand' to clarify contrasting views and the correction of grammatical errors to improve clarity. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and providing specific examples to support arguments. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be improved with better use of cohesive devices. For instance, phrases like 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' could help clarify the contrasting views. Additionally, some sentences are slightly repetitive, which affects the overall coherence.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ('should be increase'), subject-verb agreement issues ('they are believing'), and punctuation mistakes. These errors sometimes hinder clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct grammatical structures and proofreading for common mistakes.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'age', 'marriage', 'young people'). There are also some inaccuracies, such as 'goverment' instead of 'government' and 'finansially' instead of 'financially'. To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling.
5.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument regarding the legal marriage age. However, it lacks a clear and strong position, as the writer states they do not fully agree with increasing the age but does not provide a definitive stance. To improve, the writer could clearly state their position in the introduction and conclusion, and develop their arguments more thoroughly with specific examples.
6.0

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