Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Some people thinks it's better to stay ina the same position holeall theire life, but the others do not agree. It is not soan easy question to respond forto, so I will try to discuss my thougthts. I partly agree with bouth statements. FromOn one hand, doing the same things can feel safety and provide stability for a person. If he do hisone engages in their usuals activities every day, they will fileel comfortable and not worry about anything. This easiness helps to calm down and relax from the world's problems. Alsodditionally, some people are just afraid of changes, so avoid it iing them serves as a protection for themselfves. From an On the other hand, making changes is goodbeneficial for people because we need to evaolve and develop ourselfves. When we change something in life, it makpushes us go out from theof our comfort zone, and that's how we can learn some thing new and usefull things. For example, if you change your job, you probebly will getwill likely gain new knowledges and skills. Additionally, we just usuallyFurthermore, we often get boringed when nothing happens in our lifves, so sometimes we defenetinitely need some refreshness. ment. In my opinion, a balance between stability and changes is the best option. I think it's better to have a certain routine but also find a some ways to try new things and not to be afraid if something changes. After all, our life itself is a constant change, and we can't avoid it forever.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents both sides of the argument effectively. Key strengths include a coherent structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, as well as a personal opinion that adds depth to the discussion. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, vocabulary range, and the development of ideas. The structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving word choice, and enhancing the flow of ideas with better transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more specific examples to support the arguments and varying sentence structures to enhance complexity. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. The use of cohesive devices is present but could be more varied and effective. For instance, using linking words like 'furthermore' or 'in contrast' could enhance the logical progression of ideas.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('some people thinks'), incorrect prepositions ('ina same position hole'), and awkward sentence structures. While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence structures, the frequency of errors affects overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and practicing complex sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and some incorrect word forms (e.g., 'bouth' instead of 'both', 'safety' instead of 'safe', 'refreshness' instead of 'refreshment'). To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct word forms are used.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on change and stability, and it presents a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and there are several grammatical errors that detract from clarity. To improve, the writer could provide more specific examples and elaborate on the points made.
6.0

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