Some people regard eating meat as completely wrong. To what extent do you agree?

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Eating meat is a very debated topic inamong peoples of time now. Many person today. Many individuals feel that it is completely wrong to eating meat ofrom any animal. W, while others think that eating meats are is acceptable and necessary. In my opinions, I moderately agree with eating meats for a couple of reasons, which I will explain. Firstly, meat is a major source of protein and nutrition for peoplethe human body. It contains very importeant vitamins and minerals that isare necessariey for good health and development. Especially for growing childrens and pregnant women, meat is a crutcial part of a healthy diet. Without eating meats regularly, people can become malnutritionourished and suffer forom deficiencies. Secondly, meat has been a part of the humian diet for thousands of years. Our ancestors hunted animals for survivelal, and it is a natural instinct to consuminge meat. Many cultural traditions revolve arround eating meat, such as holiday meals with families. Completely abandoning meat eating can lead to the loss of an important aspect of our heritage. However, I also believe that we should be aware aboutof animal welfare and the ethics of eating meat. Factory farming can be very cruel to animals and cause them much suffering before slaughter. We must ensure that animals are reared in humane conditions and killed as painlessly as possible. Additionally, excessive consumption of meat, especially red meat, has been linked to an increased risk of certiain health problems like heart deisease. In conclusion, while I support the idea of eating meat as part of a balanced diet, I also think we need to be conscious aboutof the source of our meat and the amount we consume. Moderation is key -; we should not overindulge in meat but also not completelly eliminate it. By taking a sensible approach, we can enjoy the benefits of meat while also respecting animals and our health.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear position on the topic of eating meat and develops main ideas with relevant examples, such as the nutritional benefits and cultural significance of meat consumption. However, the argument could be strengthened with more specific examples and a clearer structure. Key strengths of the essay include a logical structure and the presentation of relevant points. The writer effectively discusses both the benefits and ethical considerations of eating meat, which adds depth to the argument. Critical areas for improvement include addressing spelling errors, enhancing the variety of vocabulary, and correcting grammatical mistakes. The flow of ideas could also be improved with better transitions between points. Structural changes made include correcting awkward sentence constructions, ensuring proper subject-verb agreement, and enhancing clarity. Transition phrases were added to improve coherence between paragraphs. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more specific examples to support arguments and using a wider range of sophisticated vocabulary. Additionally, the writer could elaborate further on the ethical considerations surrounding meat consumption. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a balanced and reasoned approach to the topic.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects clarity. The use of cohesive devices is present but could be more varied. For example, transitions between points could be smoother. To enhance coherence, the writer should ensure that each paragraph clearly relates to the main argument and uses linking words effectively.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates some grammatical range, but there are numerous errors in verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure (e.g., 'its completly wrong to eating meat', 'meat is major source'). These errors occasionally hinder understanding. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct grammatical structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement throughout the essay.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'completly', 'importent', 'especialy') and repetitive phrases (e.g., 'eating meat', 'meats'). The essay lacks a wider range of sophisticated vocabulary. To improve, the writer should aim to use more varied and precise language, as well as check for spelling accuracy.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position on the topic of eating meat, indicating moderate agreement. It develops main ideas with relevant examples, such as the nutritional benefits of meat and cultural significance. However, the argument could be strengthened with more specific examples and a clearer structure. For improvement, the writer could elaborate on the ethical considerations and provide more balanced arguments.
6.0

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