Some people say it is government's responsibility to transport children to school, while others believe parents should transport their children to school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, there are many opinions about whose responsibility it is to bring students ato school,: the government or the parents. This aessay will discuss both sides of this issue and givprovide my personal view on the topic. On one hand, governments hasve an obligation to provide education for all childrens. This includes not just the school buildings and teachers, but also making sureensuring that every child can go toattend school. For many poor families, paying for transportation to school is very difficult, and this can prevent their kids from gettreceiving an education. If the government provides free buses or other transportation, it helps to make ensure that all childrens have equal access ato education, regardless of their family's income. Additionally, school buses can be safer than other modes of transportation, as they are designed specifically for carrying students and have trained drivers. However, there are also arguments for why parents should be responsible to brfor bringing their own children to school. Firstly, it can be seen as part of a parent's duty to take care of their child's needs, which includes making sure they get to school on time every day. Some people believe that relying on the government for everything can make people to become too dependent and less self-sufficient. Moreover, if parents bring their kids to school themselves, they have more flexibility in terms of timing and can better fit the school run into their own schedules. They also have the opportunity to spend more time with their child and be more involved in their education. In my opinion, I believe that the government should provide transportation to school for students who need it, especially those from low-income families. However, for parents who are able to bring their children to school themselves, they should be encouraged to do itso. Perhaps the government can offer incentives or support for parents who choose to transport their own kids, such as tax breaks or subsidies for fuel costs. Ultimately, the most important thing is ensuring that all childrens are able to get to school safely and regularly, regardless of their family's circumstances.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by discussing both perspectives on the responsibility of transporting children to school and providing a personal opinion. Key strengths include a logical flow of ideas and a relevant discussion of the topic. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and plural forms, as well as enhancing coherence through better transitions and cohesive devices. Structural changes made include correcting the introduction for clarity and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement throughout. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying vocabulary to avoid repetition and enhancing the conclusion to provide a more definitive summary of the writer's stance. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some transitions between points could be smoother, and the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited. For example, using phrases like 'on the other hand' or 'furthermore' more effectively could enhance the flow. Improving the organization of paragraphs would also help in achieving better coherence.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('governments has' should be 'governments have') and incorrect plural forms ('childrens' should be 'children'). While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence structures, the errors detract from the overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and ensuring subject-verb agreement.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'children' and 'transportation'). There are also some inaccuracies, such as 'this assay' instead of 'this essay' and 'responsibility' should be 'responsibility is'. To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and check for spelling errors.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views on the responsibility of transporting children to school and provides a personal opinion. However, the introduction could be clearer, and the conclusion could be more definitive. To improve, the writer should ensure that the introduction clearly states the topic and the writer's stance from the outset.
6.5

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