Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In today's world, education is important for all people. Some people think that schools and universityies spend too manyuch time teaching facts but not learenough on practical skills. I am agree with this opinion. Firstly, in school, we learn many things that are not useful for real life. For example, we study many dates and names in history class. ButHowever, this knowledge is not helpful for our future jobs or daily life. We will forget most of these facts after the exam. It is better to focus on skills like critical thinking and problem-solving, which can be usapplied in many situations. Secondly, practical skills are more important for success in work and life. For examplinstance, if you study business inat university, it is more useful to learn how to do a presentation or write a report than just memorizesing theories from textbooks. Practical experience is what employers look for when hiring. AlsoMoreover, life skills like cooking, managing money, and communicating with others are essential for everyone but are not taught enough in schools. In conclusion, I believe that education should focus more on teaching practical skills rather than just facts. This will help students be more prepared for the real world and have a successful career and life. Of course, some basic knowledge is still important, but the balance needs to shift towards practical learning.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position and providing relevant arguments to support it. Key strengths include a clear structure and logical progression of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as several errors were present, and the need for a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing transitions between points, and improving the overall clarity of the writing. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more specific examples and discussing how practical skills can be integrated into existing curricula. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved. For example, transitions between points could be smoother, such as using phrases like 'Moreover' or 'In addition' to connect ideas more effectively.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as 'too many time' (should be 'too much time') and 'I am agree' (should be 'I agree'). These errors affect clarity and accuracy. While the overall meaning is conveyed, improving grammatical accuracy and using a wider range of sentence structures would enhance the score.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is adequate but somewhat repetitive, with phrases like 'practical skills' and 'teaching facts' appearing multiple times. To enhance the score, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary, such as 'hands-on experience' or 'applied knowledge,' to convey ideas more precisely.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position and providing relevant arguments to support it. However, it could benefit from more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the implications of the argument. For instance, discussing how practical skills can be integrated into existing curricula would strengthen the response.
7.0

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