Some people say that it is better to work for a large company than a small one. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Essay with Corrections
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The essay presents a clear position in favour of working for large companies, which is a key strength. The structure is logical, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there are critical areas for improvement, including grammatical accuracy, vocabulary range, and coherence. The introduction could be more concise, and the body paragraphs would benefit from specific examples and clearer transitions. Structural changes made include correcting awkward phrases and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include incorporating specific examples or statistics to support claims and enhancing vocabulary variety. The tone is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay has a logical structure, but the flow of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. For example, phrases like 'On other hands' and 'this helpful for improve my carrier opportunnites' disrupt the coherence. To improve, the writer should use clearer linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly, such as 'Furthermore' or 'In contrast'.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('the large companies can providing'), incorrect verb forms ('are facing with decision'), and awkward sentence structures. While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence construction, the errors significantly impact clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and practicing more complex sentence structures.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used in the essay is somewhat limited and contains several spelling errors (e.g., 'peoples', 'assay', 'suirtable', 'benefit', 'companyes'). While there are attempts to use varied vocabulary, the frequent repetition of words like 'company' and 'benefit' detracts from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should aim to use synonyms and more sophisticated vocabulary, such as 'corporation' or 'advantages'.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position that favors working for large companies over small ones. However, the development of ideas could be improved with more specific examples and a clearer structure. For instance, the author could elaborate on the types of benefits provided by large companies or provide statistics to support their claims. Additionally, the introduction could be more concise and directly state the author's position.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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