Some people suggest that the government should spend money putting more works of art like paintings and statues into towns and cities to make them attractive places. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, the government haves to decide how to spend the budget and make the lifves of people better. Some personsople say that spending money foron artworks like paintings and statues is a good idea to make cities and towns more beautiful places. I agree with this opinion to some extent. On one hand, artworks can really improve how a place looks. For example, imagine walking on the streets and seeing nice, colourful statues or sitting in a park and looking at interesting paint onings on the walls. This would definaitely make the city more attractive, in my opinion. Art has the power to inspire people and givecreate a good feeling. AlsoFurthermore, it shows that the city cares about culture and creativity, not only functional things. On the other hand, the government haves many other important things to spend on, like healthcare, education, and infrastructure. These things directly eaffect the daily lifeves of people more than just how a place looks. For example, if roads hasve holes or hospitals don't hasve enough medicines, that causes real problems for citizens. Art is good, but it shouldn't be a priorioty over essential services. GThe government has a limited budget, so they need to think carefully. In conclusion, I believe that putting more art in public spaces has some benefits to make the city nicer. ButHowever, it depends on the situation. If other important things like education, and transport etc are already okasatisfactory, then extra art is a good idea. But if there are lackshortcomings in basic services, the government should focus its money there first. SoTherefore, it's a balance that depends on the particular city's needs and budget at that time.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view on the issue of government spending on art versus essential services. Key strengths include a logical structure with distinct paragraphs and a clear position. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, vocabulary precision, and the development of ideas with more specific examples. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing transitions between ideas, and refining vocabulary choices. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more concrete examples of the benefits of art and elaborating on the consequences of neglecting essential services. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some transitions between sentences and ideas are abrupt, which affects the overall coherence. For instance, the transition from discussing the benefits of art to the importance of essential services could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'furthermore' or 'in addition,' would enhance the clarity of the argument.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('government have' should be 'government has') and incorrect verb forms ('if roads has holes' should be 'if roads have holes'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and some misused words, such as 'status' instead of 'statues' and 'definately' instead of 'definitely.' The writer demonstrates some range in vocabulary, but to achieve a higher score, they should aim for more varied and precise word choices. Incorporating synonyms and avoiding repetition would enhance the lexical resource.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument regarding government spending on art. It presents a clear position, agreeing to some extent with the idea. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples and a clearer conclusion. To improve, the writer could elaborate on the benefits of art with more concrete examples and strengthen the argument against prioritizing art over essential services.
6.5

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