Some people think it is better to work for a large organization than a small one. Do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

I am in agreement that it is better to work for a big organization instead of a small one. They are havingre are many reasons why this is being the case. At first, large organizations provides much better paying and beneficts than small ones. They can give moreoffer higher salaryies and thingperks like health insuransce, retirement plans, and paid off time. This thingtime off. These factors makes it more attractive for people to work there and can gives employees a better quality of life. Being in large organizations also means there isare more oppuortunityies to movinge up and advance you'rer career since they have many different departments and positions available. In addition, large organizeations can offer better resources and equipmaent to employees. They have monethe financial capacity to invests in state-of-the-art technology and tools, thatwhich makes it easier and more efficients for you to doemployees to perform their work. This can lead to the improvements in produsctivity and help the company be successfuled overall. Is alsoFurthermore, having more people around forto collaborate and learning from, what can enhance your skills development. In conclusion, I agree strongly agree that large organize isations are the better choice compared to small ones for employees. The pay and beneficts are higher, there are more chances for career advancement, and workers have access to the best resources available. For thisese reasons, I recommaends that job seekers prioritisze finding positions in biglarger companies when possible instead of limiteing themselves to small businesses only.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear argument in favour of working for large organizations, which is a key strength. It has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there are critical areas for improvement, particularly in grammatical accuracy and vocabulary usage. The essay contained several spelling errors and grammatical mistakes that detracted from its overall quality. The use of more varied vocabulary and cohesive devices would enhance the flow and depth of the argument. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving the clarity of sentences, and enhancing transitions between ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples or anecdotes to support the claims made, which would strengthen the argument further. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, using phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'Moreover' could improve the flow between points.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'large organizations provides' should be 'provide') and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'can gives' should be 'can give'). There are also awkward constructions, such as 'this things makes it more attractive'. Improving grammatical accuracy and using a wider range of sentence structures would enhance the score.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'beneficts', 'insuranse', 'oppurtunity', 'equipmant', 'improvment', 'collborate', 'recommands', 'limite') that detract from the overall quality. Additionally, the use of more varied vocabulary could enhance the essay. For instance, instead of repeating 'large organizations', synonyms like 'corporations' or 'enterprises' could be used.
5.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position in favor of working for large organizations. However, it lacks depth in developing some ideas and could benefit from more specific examples to strengthen the argument. For instance, discussing specific benefits or career advancement stories could enhance the response.
6.0

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