Some people think it is important to keep and maintain old buildings rather than replacing them with modern buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, there is a growing trend to preserve and upkeep the old constructions instead tof replaceing them bywith new ones. I am agree that we should not destroy the ancient buildings and make modernreplace them in those places, for several reasons which I will discuss in this essay. To begin, old structures are a critical part of any city or country's history and heritage. These buildings tells the story of the people who lived there and how they used to live in the past centuries ago. For example, in my hometown, there are many houses from the 18th century that have been well maintained. When I walks by them, I feel a strong connection to my ancestors and the history of my city. If we replace these houses bywith modern apartments, that sense of connection and heritage will be lost forever. Furthermore, from an economic perspective, it often makes more sense to renovatinge old buildings rather than demolitionsh them and construct new ones from scratch. Rehabbing an existing structure is usually more cost-effectives, as the foundation and basic framework are already in place. It also takes far less time than building an entirely new buildingstructure. Moreover, many old buildings isare constructed with high-quality materials like stone and hardwoods that are very durable, whereas new buildings often use cheaper, less durable material.s. In addition, preserving old buildings can have environmental benefitings. The demolition and constructions process generates a lot of waste and carbon emissions. By maintaining and repurposeing old structures, we can reduce this environmental impact. Many old buildings also have features like thick walls and small windows that make them more energy-efficiencyt than new constructions. Of course, there may be cases where an old constructure is in such poor condition that it would be prohibitively expensive or impractical to repair it. In those situations, replacement may be the only viable option. However, I believe that this should be a last resort, and every effort should be takmade to preserve and repurpose old buildings whenever possible. In conclusion, I strongly agree that maintaining and preserveing old constructions is crucially important. These buildings are a vital part of our heritage, and they often make economic and environmental senses as well. While there may be rare cases where replacement is necessary, our default approach should be to value and protect the old buildings in our communities.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a clear position in favour of maintaining old buildings, which is a key strength. It develops main ideas with relevant examples, such as the historical significance of old structures and economic benefits. However, the argument could be strengthened with more specific examples and a deeper exploration of counterarguments. Critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as several errors detract from clarity, such as 'I am agree' and 'many old buildings is constructed.' Additionally, the vocabulary could be expanded to avoid repetition and awkward expressions. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions between paragraphs, and enhancing clarity in expressions. Further improvements could involve incorporating more specific examples and addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen the overall argument. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used appropriately, but there are moments where transitions could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing historical significance to economic benefits could be more clearly articulated to enhance flow.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity, such as 'I am agree' (should be 'I agree') and 'many old buildings is constructed' (should be 'many old buildings are constructed'). These errors, along with some awkward constructions, detract from the overall effectiveness of the writing.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, with some effective phrases like 'critical part of any city or country's history.' However, there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'old buildings' and 'new buildings') and some awkward expressions (e.g., 'make modern in those place'). Expanding the range of vocabulary and using more sophisticated synonyms could improve this score.
6.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, presenting a clear position in favor of maintaining old buildings. It develops main ideas with relevant examples, such as the historical significance of old structures and economic benefits. However, the argument could be strengthened with more specific examples and a deeper exploration of counterarguments.
7.5

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