Some people think students should learn more practical courses like computer science, while others believe they should focus more on theoretical courses like geography and mathematics. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Part 2
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In today's world, there is a big discussion about what kind of courses students need to learn in school. While some people think practical subjects like computer iscience are more important, others believe theoretical subjects like geography and mathematics should be given more attention. I think both types of courses are necessary, but practical subjects are more useful for future life. First of all, learning practical courses gives students real skills they can use in their lifeves. When I learned computer science in my school, I understood how to make documents, presentations, and use the internet for research. These skills helped me a lot when I started working in different jobs. Alsodditionally, practical courses make learning more interesting because students can see the direct results of their work, which makes them more motivated to study. On the other hand, theoretical courses are also havinge an important role in education. When we study subjects like geography and mathematics, we learn how to think in a logical way and understand the world around us better. For example, mathematics helps develop problem-solving skills that we need in many situations. AndFurthermore, geography teaches us about different countries and cultures, which is very important in the global world we live in. However, I strongly believe practical courses should getreceive more attention in schools. The reason is that the world is changing very fast, and students need skills they can use immediately after finishing school. When I look at the job market now, I see many companies want people who know how to use computers and possess other practical skills. While theoretical knowledge is goodbeneficial, it's not enough for gettsecuring a good job in modern society. In conclusion, while both practical and theoretical courses have their benefits, I think schools should focus more on practical subjects because they prepare students better for real-life situations. ButHowever, this doesn't mean we should completely ignore theoretical subjects -; they should still be part of education, just with less focus than practical courses.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task prompt by discussing both views on the importance of practical and theoretical courses, presenting a clear opinion that practical courses are more beneficial for students' futures. Key strengths include a well-organized structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, as well as appropriate vocabulary for the task. Critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as several errors were present, and the need for more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition. The transitions between ideas could also be smoother to enhance coherence. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving the clarity of certain phrases, and enhancing transitions between paragraphs. Further improvements could involve providing more specific examples to support arguments and employing more complex sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical proficiency. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ideas are logically sequenced, and cohesive devices are used appropriately. However, some transitions could be smoother, and the use of linking phrases could be more varied to enhance the flow of ideas.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as 'learning practical courses give' (should be 'gives') and 'theoretical courses are also having important role' (should be 'have an important role'). These errors affect the overall accuracy, but the meaning remains clear. More complex sentence structures could also be employed to enhance the writing.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with some good expressions such as 'real skills' and 'logical way.' However, there are instances of repetition, such as the word 'practical' and 'theoretical,' which could be replaced with synonyms to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary. Additionally, minor errors like 'computer' instead of 'computer science' could be improved for clarity.
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt effectively by discussing both views on the importance of practical and theoretical courses. The writer presents a clear opinion that practical courses are more beneficial for students' future. However, the argument could be strengthened with more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the theoretical subjects' benefits.
7.5

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