Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve, while others think that the government cannot solve these environmental problems unless individuals take some action. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, the environmental problems isare being discussed by many peoples. Some people are believinge that individual persons cannot do anything to solves the environmentse issues as they are too large, while others arguinge that governments will fail to tackle environmental challenges if individuals willdo not contribute. In this essay i, I will discuss both sides of the argument and then i will givesprovide my opinion at the end. On the one hand, it can be saysid that environmental problems such as climiate change, deforestations, and air pollustions are too big and complex for individual persons to solve on theyir own. These issues required significant ressources, expertizse, and coordination efforts that only governments and large organizartions can provides. For exeample, reducing greenhouse gas emissions requires international agreemients and cooperation between differents countries, which is beyond the scopes of individual actions. Initiatives like the Paris Agreement illustrate how collective efforts can lead to meaningful change on a global scale. On the other hand, many people believe that individuals can play a significant roles in addressing environmental problemes. Small changes in our daily behaviour, such as reducing water and energy consoumption, recycling waste, and using public transportations instead of driving, can have a cumulatifve impact on the environmient over time. Governmient policies and regulations are important, but they are more likely to be effectifve if individuals are willing to cooperate and adopte environmentally friendly habits. In my opinion, iI agree that both governements and individuals have important roles to play in solving environmental problems. While governments can provide the necessary framework and ressources, individuals need to take responsaibilitiesy for their own actions and make conscientious choices in their daily lifves. Only by working together and combining our efforts can we hope to effectively address the urgent environemental challenges facing our planet today. In conclusion, while some peoples may argue that individuals are powerless in the face of large-scale environmental problemes, iI believe that every persons has a role to play in protecting our planet. By making small changes in our daily lifves and working together with governments and other stakeholders, we can make a real difference and ensure a sustainable future for generations to come.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by discussing both perspectives on environmental issues and providing a personal opinion. Key strengths include a logical structure and the inclusion of relevant points. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more thorough development of ideas, particularly with specific examples, and a broader range of vocabulary to enhance sophistication. Additionally, grammatical accuracy needs attention, as several errors detract from clarity. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions, and adding a specific example (the Paris Agreement) to support the argument. For further improvement, the writer could focus on expanding vocabulary, ensuring correct spelling, and varying sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some transitions between ideas are abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. For example, phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' are used, but more varied linking words could enhance the overall coherence. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices to connect ideas more smoothly.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('environment problems is'), incorrect verb forms ('solves', 'gives'), and awkward constructions ('it can be says'). These errors affect the clarity of the writing. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used in the essay is somewhat repetitive and includes several spelling errors (e.g., 'climite', 'deforestations', 'individuls'). While there are attempts to use relevant terms related to the topic, the overall range is limited. To improve, the writer should aim to use a broader range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling, which would enhance the sophistication of the writing.
5.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views on environmental problems and providing a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples and clearer arguments. For instance, the mention of international agreements could be expanded to include specific examples of successful initiatives. To improve, the writer should ensure that each point is fully developed and supported with relevant examples.
6.5

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