Some people think that housing facilities should be built in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while others believe that parks should be set instead. Planting trees is very important for the environment. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

There are many ideas about what to do with the land in a city that is not being used for anything. Some say we should make building for livingconstruct residential buildings in those areas. And, while others think that green areas should be put there, like parks. Which one has thespaces, like parks, should be established. Which option is best for the city and its people? I will given this essay, I will present my views abouton thatis issue. On the one hand, it is important for towns to have enuffough living space for personresidents. The prices of flats are very high in many places because there are not enough available. If there is land that dones not have any buildings they, it can be used to makcreate more flats or houses. This will madelower the costs be lower. P, allowing people willto save money when buying house. Likea home. For example, in my town, there was manyuch empty land before, but now new flats are creating, itbeing constructed, which is helpful for young familyies looking to buy their first home. But i However, I believe that having parks areis also very important. When gowalking around the city, it is nicepleasant to see green spaces and trees. It is not pleasant for the eyesvisually appealing if only concrete and building is ses are present. Parks letprovide a place for people to come for relax or have picnic. It give place for kids to play. Ps, and they offer space for children to play. Additionally, plants in parks are goodbeneficial for the air towe breathe., as they help to clean carbon emissions from factories. To conclude, I think cities need spaces for people to live, but they also should also have parks. It is better if they can makcreate a plan, like some place for housing and some other place that includes areas for housing as well as areas for nature. If they doBy mixing of both then, everybodyone will be happy.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and presents both sides of the argument regarding the use of vacant land in cities. Key strengths of the essay include a clear attempt to address the prompt and the inclusion of relevant examples, such as the situation in the writer's town. Critical areas for improvement include the need for a clearer position in the introduction, more robust development of ideas, and improved coherence and cohesion through better transitions. The vocabulary could be more varied and precise, and grammatical accuracy needs attention, particularly with subject-verb agreement and verb forms. Structural changes made include refining the introduction to clearly state the writer's position and enhancing the flow of ideas between paragraphs. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include expanding on examples with more specific details and using a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is generally appropriate for an academic essay, but it could be more formal in some instances. Overall, the essay shows potential but requires further refinement to achieve a higher score.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed, and transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved. For example, using cohesive devices like 'furthermore' or 'in addition' would enhance the logical progression of ideas.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('this will made the costs be lower'), incorrect verb forms, and punctuation mistakes. While the meaning is generally clear, improving grammatical accuracy and using a wider range of sentence structures would enhance the overall quality of the writing.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and informal language, such as 'enuff' and 'concret.' The writer could benefit from using a wider range of vocabulary and more precise terms. For instance, instead of 'make building for living,' they could say 'construct residential buildings.'
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting both sides of the argument regarding the use of vacant land in cities. However, the position is not clearly stated at the beginning, and the development of ideas could be more robust. For improvement, the writer should clearly state their position in the introduction and provide more detailed examples to support their arguments.
6.0

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