Some people think that in the digital age photographs are not important. Others believe that they are still as important as ever. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Part 2
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Novwadays, many people are discussio aboutng whether photographs are still important in the digitsal age. Some thinks that with the development onf technology, the role of photographs is not big likeas significant as before. Other people says that photo is staygraphs remain important even in the digital era. I will discuss both opinions and gives my viewpoint below. On one side, there isare arguments that photographs are losing their importantce. First, with social media becoming popular, people focus on shareing short videos more than photographs. For example, the TikTok app allows users to makcreate short videos easily, so many youngs like to people prefer makeing videos thano takeing photographs. Second, storage spaces is limited, so keep many photo become difficultmaking it difficult to keep many photographs. Many phones hasve small storage capacities, so people delete old photographs to make space. This show photo is not keeps that photographs are not kept for a long time. However, other peoples believes that photographs are still very important. One reason is photothat photographs can captures special moments, like weddings or graduations. These events happen only one timce, so photo cangraphs help to remember the memoryies forever. Another reasons is photothat photographs can be used for many purposes, likesuch as in advertisements or news articles. Photo can showgraphs can convey informations quickly and easyare easier to understand, than long texts. This prove photo still has bigs that photographs still play a significant role in communication. In conclusion, while some may argue photothat photographs are losing their importantce, I believe it stillthey remain valuable in the digital age. Photo hasgraphs have a unique ability to capture moments and communicate effectively. It is true that videos are becoming more common, but photographs will always hasve a special place.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by discussing both views on the importance of photographs in the digital age and presenting a personal opinion. Key strengths include a structured approach with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, vocabulary range, and coherence. The structural changes made involved correcting grammatical errors, improving phrasing for clarity, and enhancing transitions between ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more specific examples to support arguments and diversifying vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. The use of cohesive devices is present but could be more varied and effective. To enhance coherence, the writer should focus on clearer transitions between ideas and ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and awkward sentence structures (e.g., 'photo is stay important'). These errors hinder clarity and accuracy. While there are some correct structures, the overall grammatical range is limited. To improve, the writer should focus on practicing sentence construction and ensuring subject-verb agreement.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetition and misuse of words (e.g., 'photo' instead of 'photographs', 'digit' instead of 'digital'). The essay demonstrates some range, but the use of more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions would elevate the writing. To improve, the writer should aim to diversify their word choice and avoid redundancy.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views on the importance of photographs in the digital age and presents a clear opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and there are instances of unclear phrasing that detract from the overall argument. To improve, the writer could provide more specific examples and elaborate on the points made.
5.0

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