Some people think that it is a good idea to socialize with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it's important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Part 2
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowaday's, some peoples nowadays think tohat socializeing and spending times together with colleaugues or coworker ats in the evening or on weekend.s is very importand good thing Other people opnion is thatt and beneficial. However, other people believe in completely sepearate theing work life andfrom socaial life. In this aessay, I will discuss about both views and will givprovide my opeinion at the end. I On one hands, Ssocializeing with colleaugues in the evening or on weekends is very beniefitcial in many ways. First, it can stroengingthen the bond and relationship between colleagues. By socaializeing, they can knowlearn more about each other's backgrounds, interests, and personality It can makes they beingies. This can lead to friendships, not just workmates. This can lead a betterAs a result, this can improve communication and teamwork when they need to doncomplete projects together. Alsodditionally, socaialize at evening or weeknding outsitde the work environment sometime can creative a more relaxed atomosphere and reduce stress from the workday. When people feel relaxed and comfortable, they can share ideas and solvinge problems together more effectively. However, on the another hand, some people believe that keep work and maintaining a work-life balance is more important. They think that spending too much time with colleagues outside of work hour will make they boring and loose thes can become boring and lead to missed opportunityies for other activityies with family or other friends. AlsoFurthermore, when people spend too much time together, there is a possibility to have someof conflicts or arguements, espescially when they talking aboutdiscussing work-related thing outsite workmatters outside of the workplace. This can affect to theyir professionalitysm when they go backreturn to workplace. In addition, keeping a sepearateion beetween work and socaial life can help maintain they privacy and personal space. In conclusion, Iin my opeinion, I believe that socaializeing with coworkers during weekends or evenings is okayacceptable as long as it is not to muchexcessive. We steeill need time for ourselfves and other aspect ins of life. SoTherefore, balancing between work, socaializeing, and other commitments is the key.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the task by discussing both views on socializing with colleagues and providing a personal opinion. Key strengths include a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, as well as an attempt to address both sides of the argument. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, spelling, and the development of ideas with more detailed examples. The structural changes made focused on correcting grammatical errors, improving coherence with clearer transitions, and enhancing vocabulary usage. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more specific examples to support each viewpoint and varying sentence structures to enhance complexity. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is disrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The use of cohesive devices is present but could be improved for better clarity. For instance, using clearer transitions between ideas would enhance coherence.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect verb forms, and sentence fragments. These errors significantly impact the overall clarity of the writing. While there are some attempts at complex sentences, the frequent mistakes suggest a need for improvement in grammatical accuracy. The writer should practice sentence structure and review basic grammar rules.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'colleauges', 'benifit', 'import', 'socailize') that hinder understanding. The writer attempts to use a range of vocabulary, but repetition of certain phrases (e.g., 'socialize with colleagues') could be reduced. To improve, the writer should focus on using synonyms and ensuring correct spelling.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views on socializing with colleagues and presents a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and there are several grammatical errors that detract from clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on providing more detailed examples and clearer arguments for each viewpoint.
5.0

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