Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

What this means:

The essay has a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing that disrupt the flow. For example, phrases like 'On other hand' should be 'On the other hand.' Improving the use of linking words and phrases would enhance the overall coherence.

How to improve:

• Use a clear paragraph structure
• Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
• Maintain logical progression
• Use referencing effectively

What this means:

The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'parents plays' should be 'parents play') and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'some people believes' should be 'some people believe'). While the writer demonstrates some grammatical range, the frequency of errors affects clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.

How to improve:

• Use complex sentence structures
• Maintain grammatical accuracy
• Use a variety of sentence patterns
• Check for common grammar errors

What this means:

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'there' instead of 'their,' 'influsense' instead of 'influence,' 'childrens' instead of 'children') that detract from the overall quality. Additionally, the range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, with repetitive use of words like 'children' and 'teach.' To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms and more varied expressions.

How to improve:

• Use a wider range of vocabulary
• Demonstrate awareness of collocations
• Avoid word repetition
• Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately

What this means:

The essay addresses the task by discussing both views on whether parents or schools should teach children about being good members of society. The writer presents a clear opinion that both have important roles. However, the development of ideas could be improved with more specific examples and a clearer structure. For instance, providing concrete examples of how parents and schools can collaborate would strengthen the argument.

How to improve:

• Address all parts of the task fully
• Support ideas with specific examples
• Develop each point thoroughly
• Stay relevant to the topic