Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Part 2
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In my opinion, both parents and schools play an important role in teaching children how to be good members of society. It is not just the responsibility of one, but; both need to work together for the best result. Parents are the first teachers for their children, and they have biga significant influence on their children's behaviour and values. From a young age, parents can teach their children important lessons like honesty, respect, and kindness. These are the foundations for being a good person in society. PAdditionally, parents also set a good example for children to follow in their own behaviour. However, schools also hasve an important role to play. In school, children learn to interact with others and follow rules. They learnstudy subjects like history and social studies, which teach them about their community and the world. Schools also teach children importantessential skills like teamwork and communication, which are necessary for being a good member of society. In conclusion, I believe that it is importantcrucial for both parents and schools to work together to teach children how to be good members of society. Parents provide the foundation at home and, while schools build on this with additional knowledge and skills. With support from both, children can grow up to be responsible and contributing members of society.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the roles of both parents and schools in teaching children to be good members of society. Key strengths include a clear opinion and relevant examples that support the argument. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with possessive forms and article usage, as well as enhancing lexical variety to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include clearer topic sentences and improved transitions between ideas to enhance coherence. Further improvements could involve incorporating more specific examples or evidence to strengthen the argument. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. The use of linking phrases such as 'In conclusion' helps to structure the response. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the overall organization could benefit from clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance cohesion.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as 'important role in teaching children' (should be 'an important role') and 'childs behavior' (should be 'child's behavior'). These errors affect the overall clarity and accuracy of the writing. More complex sentence structures could also be employed to improve the score.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and conveys the intended meaning effectively. Phrases like 'big influence,' 'foundation for being good person,' and 'responsible and contributing member' demonstrate a good range of vocabulary. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'important role,' which could be varied to enhance lexical richness.
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on whether parents or schools are more responsible for teaching children to be good members of society. The writer presents a clear opinion that both play important roles, which is well-developed with relevant examples. However, the argument could be strengthened with more specific examples or evidence to support the claims made.
7.5

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