Some people think that people should not change their jobs while others think they should because it brings advantages for themselves, their company and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Part 1 (General)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

People sometimes have different opinions about whether a person should staying in one job or changinge jobs. Some people argue for remaining in the same job,; however, others think that changeing jobs can be beneficial not only for the individual but also for the company and the society as a whole. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the view and then give my opinion. On the one hand, those who are against job changing claim that staying in the same job provides stability. When a person works at one company for a long time, they become very familiar and comfortable with the work environment, colleagues, and job duties. This familiarity can increased efficiency and productivity. Moreover, long-term employees often have strong loyalty to their company, which motivates them to work harder and contribute more. Staying in one job also demonstrates commitment and reliability, which are valuable traits for employers. On the other hand, supporters of job changing believe that it brings many advantages. For the individual, changing jobs can provide opportunityies for career growth, skill development, and higher salaryies. It allows a person to gain diverse experience and expand their network. For the company, new employees can bring fresh perspectives and ideas, which can lead to innovation and improved performance. Job changing also promotes healthy competition and prevents stagnation in the workplace. Furthermore, from a societyal perspective, job mobility can help to redistributinge talent and expertise across different industries and regions, which can contributeing to economic growth and development. In my opinion, while there are benefits to staying in one job, I believe that job changing is overall positive and should be encouraged. In today's fast-paced and ever-changing world, adaptability and continuous learning are key to success. Changing jobs allows individuals to stay relevant and competitive in the job market. It also promotes a more dynamic and vibrant economy. However, I think the frequency and timing of job changes should be carefully considered based on individual circumstances and career goals. In conclusion, there are valid arguments on both sides of the debate about whether people should change jobs or not. While staying in one job offers stability and loyalty, changing jobs brings opportunities for growth and innovation. I believe that job changing is beneficial for individuals, companies, and society as a whole, but it should be done thoughtfully and strategically.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both views on job changing and providing a clear opinion, which is a key strength. The structure is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there are critical areas for improvement, particularly in grammatical accuracy and lexical variety. The essay contained several grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms and awkward constructions, which detracted from clarity. Additionally, the vocabulary could be more varied to avoid repetition, particularly of the word 'job.' Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving coherence with better transitions, and enhancing lexical resource by using synonyms and correcting spelling mistakes. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples to support arguments and using a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of ideas. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear structure that includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, using more varied cohesive devices could enhance the flow of the essay. Phrases like 'on the contrary' or 'in addition' could be used to better link contrasting ideas.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'should staying' should be 'should stay,' and 'those who against job changing' should be 'those who are against job changing.' These errors, along with some awkward constructions, detract from the overall quality. More attention to subject-verb agreement and verb forms would enhance accuracy.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, with some good expressions such as 'job mobility' and 'fresh perspective.' However, there are instances of repetition, such as the word 'job' being used frequently. To improve, the writer could use synonyms or phrases like 'employment' or 'career' to add variety. Additionally, there are some minor spelling errors, such as 'enviroment' (environment) and 'advantage' (advantages).
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views on job changing and providing a clear opinion. However, it could be improved by offering more specific examples to support the arguments. For instance, mentioning specific industries where job mobility is particularly beneficial would strengthen the points made.
7.5

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