Some people think that renewable energy sources like solar and wind power should replace fossil fuels such as coal and gas as soon as possible. Others think we should continue to use fossil fuels while it is still cheap to do so. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

tThese days, some believe that renewable energy sources like solar power and wind power must be replacinge fossil fuels such as coal and gas very fastquickly. iIn contrast, others says fossil fuels isare still cheap, so people should keepcontinue using ithem. iI will talk aboutdiscuss both views and my thinking. opresent my opinion. On one side, renewable energy is goodbeneficial for the environment's future. sSolar and wind power makingproduce less pollution, so air is more clean. Changresulting in cleaner air. Transitioning to renewable sources now is important because ofcrucial due to the ongoing climate change happeninngcrisis. iIf we don not stop using fossil fuels, then e Earth may get become excessiverly hot soon from all carbon in air. besides, one day fossil fuels are finish because it is limited, so moredue to the carbon emissions in the atmosphere. Furthermore, fossil fuels are finite resources, so it is better to prepare early by buildinginvesting in wind and solar farms now. wWe need to practicinge more with renewable energy technologies to enhance their efficiency. h However, on the other side, fossil fuel iss provide reliable and affordable energy today. wWe have lostill have a significant amount of coal still inin the ground that can be used for many years. alsoAdditionally, energy companies and governments already have lot ofpossess extensive experience and tools for extracting coal and gas, so it is stillmaking them cheaper than solar and wind. r energy. Renewable sources needsrequire more investment to improve efficiency and build more sites, that isadditional sites, which can be expensive. alsoMoreover, we need storage for whensolutions for times when there is no sun or wind. The price of renewable energy price is not yet stable yet, so is bigswitching now could lead to significant changes for people and the economy if switch now. in conclusing, i think. In conclusion, I believe we need dto both - startpursue both strategies: starting to build more renewable energy farms andwhile also keepcontinuing to use some fossil fuels for now while price is cheap, as long as their prices remain low until renewable technology more better.improves. The government should helpassist energy company changeies in transitioning gradually with financial incentive moneys. wWe should haveset targets for renewable energy, like 50% in 10 years. But must make suresuch as achieving 50% usage in ten years. However, we must ensure that prices don not increase too much for peopleexcessively for consumers. tThis balanced approach is the best way to changingtransition to a clean energy future.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by discussing both views on renewable energy versus fossil fuels and presenting a personal opinion. Key strengths include a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, as well as a relevant topic. However, critical areas for improvement include the depth and clarity of ideas, coherence and cohesion, lexical resource, and grammatical accuracy. The revised version addresses these issues by enhancing transitions, correcting grammatical errors, and improving vocabulary variety. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples of renewable technologies or policies and varying sentence structures further to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and a lack of clear transitions. To improve coherence, the writer could use more cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one. For example, using phrases like 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' more effectively could enhance clarity.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and awkward sentence structures. For example, 'fossil fuels is still cheap' should be 'fossil fuels are still cheap.' While the meaning is generally clear, the presence of these errors affects the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and repetitive, with phrases like 'renewable energy' and 'fossil fuels' appearing frequently. While some appropriate terms are used, there is a lack of variety and sophistication in word choice. To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repetition. For instance, using synonyms for 'cheap' or 'energy' could enhance the lexical resource.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views on renewable energy versus fossil fuels, and it presents a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas lacks depth and clarity. For improvement, the writer should provide more specific examples and elaborate on the arguments presented. For instance, discussing specific renewable technologies or policies could strengthen the argument.
6.0

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