Some people think that robots are important for humans' future development. Others think that robots have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Part 2
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Today, there is much discussion about robots and how they affect our lives. I am going to write about the good and bad things aboutaspects of robots, and also share what I think about this topic. On one side, robots can make our future better in many ways. When I think about it, robots help us do difficult work faster than humans. For example, in my country, many factories use robots to make cars and other things, and this makes productautomated systems to manufacture cars and other products, which makes these items cheaper for everyone to buy. Alsodditionally, robots never get tired like humans do, so they can work all day and night without stopping. This helps companies makproduce more thinggoods and earn more money. However, other people worry about badthe negative effects of robots on our society. I understand their concern because I see how robots take jobs from workers. In my city, there was a big factory where many people worked, but now robotmachines do most of the work, and many workers have lost their jobs. Another problem is that people become too dependent on robotstechnology. Sometimes I notice how my friends cannot do simple math because they always use a calculator, and this makes me worry about future generations. From my experience, I believe robots bring more benefits than problems to our society. Even though some workers might lose their jobs, new kinds of jobs appearemployment opportunities arise because someone needs to fix and program these robotmachines. When I studied inat university, I saw many students learning about robotic technology, and they all found good jobs after graduation. AlsoFurthermore, robots can doperform dangerous worktasks that might hurtarm humans, likesuch as cleaning toxic waste or working in very hot placeextremely hot environments. In conclusion, while robots can cause some problems like job losses, I think they are very important for making our future better. What we need to do is learn how to use robots in the right way and make sureensure that everyone can benefit from this technology. The world is changing fastrapidly, and we must change with itadapt accordingly.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates several strengths, including a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The writer effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding the impact of robots on society and presents a personal opinion. However, there are critical areas for improvement. The essay could benefit from more specific examples, particularly regarding the types of new jobs created by robots. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices could be enhanced to improve the flow between ideas. The vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there is some repetition of the term 'robots,' which could be diversified with synonyms. Minor grammatical errors, such as 'use calculator' instead of 'use a calculator,' should also be corrected. The structural changes made include refining the topic sentences for clarity, enhancing transitions between paragraphs, and correcting minor grammatical errors. For further improvements, the writer could incorporate more varied sentence structures and explore the arguments in greater depth, particularly regarding the positive impacts of robots on job creation. The tone of the essay is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ideas are logically sequenced, but the use of cohesive devices could be improved. For example, using more varied linking phrases could enhance the flow between ideas.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, with mostly accurate usage. There are minor errors, such as 'use calculator' which should be 'use a calculator.' Overall, the grammatical accuracy is sufficient for clear communication, but more complex sentence structures could be employed to elevate the writing.
7.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and conveys the intended meaning. However, there are instances of repetition, such as the word 'robots' being used frequently. Incorporating synonyms or varied expressions could enhance the lexical range. For example, using terms like 'automated systems' or 'machines' could diversify the language.
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on the impact of robots on society and presents a clear opinion. However, it could benefit from more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the arguments. For instance, elaborating on the types of new jobs created by robots would strengthen the argument.
7.5

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