Some people think that the best way to be successful in life is to try to achieve personal goals without asking for help from others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

'These days, many people think the best way to succeed is to do everything yourself and not ask for help from others. I am agree with this idea to some extent, but I also think getthat getting help is sometimes important. One reason it"s good tryo try to achieve goals yourself is that it builds independence and self-reliantsce. If you always depend on others for help, you will never learn to do things on your own. This can lead to a lack of confidaence and difficulty in life when no one is around to assist. For example, if a student always gets help from a tutor with homeworks, they may not learn the material well and may struggle on exams when they must work alone. However, I also beleive askieve that asking for help is sometimes necessary for success. No one knows everything or haves all the skills, so collaborateing with others who have different strengths can be beneficial. In adiccionFurthermore, getting advice and guideance from a mentor or a more experienced person can help avoid mistakes and reach goals faster. For instantce, if someone wants to start a business, they likely need help from a lawyer to register the company, an accountant to manage financiales, or a marketing expert to promote the product. In conclusion, while I agree that it is important tryo try to achieve goals independaently as much as possible, I also think getthat getting help from others can be valuable in many situactions. The key is to find a balance between self-reliance and collaboration, depend oning on the specific goal and circumstances.'
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear position on the topic, acknowledging both the importance of self-reliance and the value of seeking help. Key strengths include a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more thorough development of ideas, better use of cohesive devices for smoother transitions, and a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition and misspellings. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving sentence structure, and enhancing coherence with better transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more specific examples of how collaboration can lead to success and varying sentence structures to enhance grammatical range. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be improved with better use of cohesive devices. For instance, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. Using phrases like 'on the other hand' or 'furthermore' would enhance coherence.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement and sentence structure (e.g., 'I am agree', 'this lead to lack confidance'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetition and misspellings (e.g., 'beleive', 'adiccion', 'guidence'). The writer uses some good phrases, but a wider range of vocabulary and more precise word choices would improve the score. For example, instead of 'get help', the writer could use 'seek assistance' or 'request support'.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position that acknowledges both sides of the argument. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples and clearer explanations of how collaboration can lead to success. For improvement, the writer could elaborate on the benefits of seeking help and provide more detailed examples.
6.0

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