Some people think that the high prices charged by dentists are justified and that additional subsidies should be provided by the government to help people afford dental treatment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

I absolutely agree with the statement that the high price thats charged by the dentists isare justified and that the government should provide additional subsidies forto helping people to affording dental treatment. There are several reasons I strongly believe this way. First of all, the dental treatment is very expensive because it requires a lot of educations and trainings. The dDentists, they go to school for many years to gain the knowledges and skills to do theperform treatments correctly. After they graduateing from dentistal school, dentists must buy expensive equipments and tools to run their practice, and they need to pay for office spaces, staffs, and supplies. All of thisese costs makes dentistal treatment very pricey. Moreover, dental health is extremely importancet for overall health. Poor dental health can lead to serious problems like gum diseases, tooth decay, and even heart diseases. If people cannot afford to go tovisit a dentist, they may develop thisese conditions that, which will cost more to treat in the long- term. The gGovernment subsidies to help pay for dental visits can prevent thisese issues and save money for both individuals and the healthcare system. Furthermore, providing dental subsidies can help to reduce the inequality in healthcare access. People with lower incomes often strugglinge to pay for basic necessitieses like foods and housing, so dental care becomes thea luxury they cannot afford. By offering financial assistance, the government can ensure that everyone haves access to necessary dental treatement regardless of their income level. In conclusions, I strongly agree that high dental prices isare justified due to the educations and expenses required to provide quality cares. I also believe that the government should offer additional subsidies to make dental treatment more affordable and accessaible for all people. Investment in dental health is important for individuals' well-being and can save costs for society in the long- run.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a strong argument in favour of government subsidies for dental treatment. Key strengths include a clear position on the issue and a logical structure with distinct paragraphs. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly in subject-verb agreement and pluralization, as well as the use of more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition. The essay could also benefit from a more balanced discussion, potentially addressing counterarguments or the implications of high dental costs on different socioeconomic groups. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving coherence by refining transitions, and enhancing clarity in phrasing. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include exploring counterarguments and using a wider range of vocabulary to enrich the text. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, but the flow between ideas could be improved. Some sentences are slightly disjointed, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. For example, transitions between points could be smoother. To enhance coherence, the writer could use linking phrases such as 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' more effectively.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as 'the high price that charged by the dentists' (should be 'charged by dentists') and 'importance for overall health' (should be 'important for overall health'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and pluralization. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and awkward phrasing, such as 'the high price that charged by the dentists' and 'basic necessitieses like foods and housing.' The writer could improve by using synonyms and more varied expressions. For example, instead of 'high price,' alternatives like 'elevated costs' could be employed.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by clearly stating agreement with the justification of high dental prices and the need for government subsidies. However, it could benefit from a more balanced discussion, including potential counterarguments or a more nuanced view. For improvement, the writer could explore the implications of high dental costs on different socioeconomic groups more thoroughly.
6.5

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