Some people think that the news media nowadays have influenced people's lives in negative ways. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, the media and news they have a huge impact ton our lives. Some peoples think that this impact areis negative. I am agree with this opinion to some extendt. First of all, the news medias often focus ion the bad things that happen in the world, like wars, crime, natural disasters, and so on. They don not focus on good news as much. This can make people feel depressed and anxious about the state of the world. For example, if you watch the news every days, you might start to think that the world is a very dangerous place, even if it is not really so bad. In addition, the news media can also influence people's opinions and behaviours in a badnegative way. For exeample, if the media always show a certain group of people in a negatifve light, then people might start to beliefve those stereotypes and discriminate against that group. This can lead to more conflict and divisions in the society. However, I also think that the news media can hasve some positives impacts too. They keep us informated about important events and issues around the world. Without the news, we would be ignorrant about many things. The media can also help to expose corruption and wrongdoing by people in powers, which is important for a democratic society. In conclusion, I am somewhat agree that the news media nowadays have a negatively influence on people's lifves. They can make us feel more negative emotions and influence us to have harmful stereotyping. Butes. However, they also play an important role in keeping us informed citiznens. Overall, I think the media need to be more responsible in how they report the news.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the negative and positive influences of the news media on people's lives, which is a key strength. However, the position could be clearer and more consistently articulated throughout the essay. Critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly in subject-verb agreement and verb forms, as well as spelling errors that detract from the overall quality. The structure has been maintained, with clear topic sentences and supporting details in each paragraph. Transition phrases have been added to improve coherence, especially when shifting from negative to positive impacts. For further improvement, the writer could expand on their arguments with more specific examples or statistics to strengthen their claims. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and analytical style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and a lack of clear transitions between points. For instance, the shift from discussing negative impacts to positive impacts could be smoother. To enhance coherence, the writer should use more cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are numerous errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'this impact are negative', 'the news medias'), verb forms (e.g., 'can has', 'I am agree'), and sentence structure. These errors can hinder clarity and understanding. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of the writing.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of incorrect word forms and spelling errors (e.g., 'peoples', 'depresed', 'dangers', 'informated', 'ignorrant', 'democatic', 'citiznes'). Additionally, there is some repetition of phrases like 'news media' and 'negative impact'. To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling and word forms.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the negative and positive influences of the news media on people's lives. However, the position is not consistently clear, and the development of ideas could be more robust. For example, the argument about the media's negative impact could be expanded with more specific examples or statistics. To improve, the writer should ensure a clearer stance throughout the essay and provide more detailed support for their claims.
6.0

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