Some people think that there are things individuals can do to help prevent global climate change, while others believe that action by individuals is useless and that only governments and large businesses can make a difference. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Part 1 (General)
7.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In recent years, the topic of climate change has become very important for many people. While some persons think individuindividuals think personal actions can help with this problem, others believe only big companielarge corporations and governments can do something useful. In my opinion, both individual and governmental actions are needed to solve this environmental crisis. On one side, many people sayargue that individuals can make importsignificant changes to help the environment. For example, when we choose to take the bus instead of driving a car, we makcreate less pollution. Alsodditionally, if we buy lessfewer plastic products and do recyclinge at home, we reduce waste that harms our planet. I have noticed in my country that more and more people are start doing to engage ing these small actions, and I think it showdemonstrates how individuals can really help.truly make a difference. However, other people thinks contend that only governments and big companies can make real differenclarge corporations can effect real change. They sayargue that individual actions are too smallminor to matter when biglarge factories continue to make lots ofproduce significant pollution every day. For instance, one factory can produceemit more carbon in ona single day than many families in one year. Alsodo in a year. Furthermore, governments can makeenact laws that forcecompel companies to be more green and give moneyadopt greener practices and allocate funds to develop clean energy. These are thingactions that normaldinary people cannot do.undertake. I strongly believe that we need both individual and governmental actions togetherworking in tandem. While it is true that governments must make strict rules for companies, individuimplement strict regulations for corporations, personal actions are also very importantcrucial because they showignal to companies and governments that people care about this problemissue. In my experience, when many people start doing something,individuals begin to adopt practices like using lessfewer plastic bags, companies start to change their ways toomethods as well. This happenoccurred in my city, where many shops now offer paper bags because customers wanrequested them. In conclusion, although some people think individual actions are not useful for figheffective in combating climate change, I believe both personal and governmental efforts are necessaryessential. If we want to solveaddress this bsignificant problem, everyone must work together - from ordinary people to big companiecollaborate—from ordinary individuals to large corporations and governments.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both views on climate change and providing a clear opinion, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic. Key strengths include a well-organized structure and relevant arguments. However, critical areas for improvement include the use of more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition and correcting minor grammatical errors for greater accuracy. Structural changes made include refining the introduction and body paragraphs for clarity and coherence, as well as enhancing transitions between ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific examples or statistics to strengthen arguments and using a wider range of cohesive devices. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph logically follows the previous one, and cohesive devices are used effectively to link ideas. However, the use of more varied cohesive devices could enhance the flow even further.
8.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors, such as 'take bus' instead of 'take the bus' and 'do recycling' instead of 'recycle.' These minor mistakes do not significantly impede understanding but do affect the overall accuracy.
7.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate and varied, with some good expressions like 'environmental crisis' and 'make real difference.' However, there are instances of repetition, such as 'individual actions' and 'big companies,' which could be replaced with synonyms to demonstrate a wider lexical range.
7.5
Task Achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both views on climate change and providing a clear opinion. The arguments are relevant and well-developed, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic. To improve further, the writer could include more specific examples or statistics to strengthen their points.
8.0

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