Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Part 1 (General)
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

There isare different opinion ofs among people about zoo,s; some peoples say theat wild animals shouldn't be keepedpt in zoo but other peoples, while others think that zoos isare a good thing to have it. I will discuss both views in this essay. In the On one side, many persons sayople argue that wild animals, like lions and monkeys, must be free, and not captured in zoo ands to be looked at by humankinds. They arguement that animals wasere borned to blive in the wild,; that is the natureal way. They say theat zoo iss are like prisons for animals, providing not enough space for them and makeing them sad and stressed. It is unfair to take theyir freedom away for our entertainment to watch it. In other words, thisese people thinkbelieve theat zoo iss are cruel to animals. On anthe other hand, some people hasold the opinion that zoos hasve important reasons to exist it. First, the zoo is are place fors that protect endangered speicies from going extinct, by breeding them in captivitey. Without zoos, many animals will disappear complete. Oould completely disappear. Another reason to have zoos is for education,; children can come to see and learn about the wild animals in real life, not just in pictures in books. It is important for kids to understand nature and appreshciate animals. So in this viewTherefore, from this perspective, zoos hasve value for soceiety. In my opinion, i amI agree withat both sides has ave valid points. We need zoos for conservastion and educational purpuoses, but we also must make must also ensure that the animals hasve good living conditions in zoos, with enough space and proper food and care byfrom zookeepers. MaybePerhaps we can find a balance between these two ideas,: to have zoo buts while also respecting the welfare of wild animals welfare. In conclutsion, while some people believe that zoo iss are bad for animals, other peoples think that zoos hasve valid reasons. I think for existence. I believe both arguments hasve merit, and we need to find a middle wayground to have zoos that also treat animals well and give themprovide them with a good life.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and presents both sides of the argument regarding zoos. 1. Key strengths of the essay include a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, as well as the inclusion of personal opinion, which is essential for Task 1. 2. Critical areas for improvement include the need for more specific examples to support arguments, better transitions between points, and a reduction in grammatical errors. The vocabulary could also be more varied to enhance lexical resource. 3. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving coherence with clearer linking phrases, and enhancing the overall clarity of the arguments presented. 4. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples of endangered species that benefit from zoos and varying the vocabulary used to avoid repetition. 5. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout the discussion.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes unclear, and transitions between points could be improved. For example, using clearer linking phrases such as 'On the one hand' and 'Conversely' would enhance coherence. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices is limited, which affects the overall clarity of the argument.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'some people has opinion'), incorrect verb forms, and awkward sentence structures. While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence construction, the frequent errors hinder clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical mistakes and practicing more complex sentence structures.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of incorrect word forms and spelling errors (e.g., 'keeped' should be 'kept', 'appreshiate' should be 'appreciate'). The writer also repeats certain phrases, such as 'wild animals' and 'zoo', which could be varied for better lexical range. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling and word forms.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views on the topic of zoos and providing a personal opinion. However, the arguments presented are somewhat underdeveloped and lack depth. For improvement, the writer could provide more specific examples and clearer reasoning to support each viewpoint. For instance, discussing specific endangered species that benefit from zoos would strengthen the argument for their existence.
5.5

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