Some people think that young people should be required to do unpaid work helping people in the community. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

What this means:

The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. To enhance coherence, the writer could use more cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one. For instance, using phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could help link ideas more effectively.

How to improve:

• Use a clear paragraph structure
• Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
• Maintain logical progression
• Use referencing effectively

What this means:

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('young people has'), incorrect verb forms ('obligated to do voluntering jobs'), and awkward sentence structures. While the writer attempts to use complex sentences, the frequent errors hinder clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and practice constructing clearer sentences.

How to improve:

• Use complex sentence structures
• Maintain grammatical accuracy
• Use a variety of sentence patterns
• Check for common grammar errors

What this means:

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'contrversial', 'shold', 'comnunity', 'experiencie', 'disvantages') that detract from the overall quality. The writer demonstrates some range in vocabulary, but repetition of certain words (e.g., 'young people', 'work') could be reduced by using synonyms. To improve, the writer should focus on spelling accuracy and expanding their vocabulary range.

How to improve:

• Use a wider range of vocabulary
• Demonstrate awareness of collocations
• Avoid word repetition
• Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately

What this means:

The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position against mandatory unpaid work for young people. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the arguments could be more thoroughly explained with relevant examples. For improvement, the writer could elaborate on the disadvantages and provide specific examples of how unpaid work could negatively impact young people's education and future job prospects.

How to improve:

• Address all parts of the task fully
• Support ideas with specific examples
• Develop each point thoroughly
• Stay relevant to the topic