Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Part 2
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In my opinion, I think online university courses arepresent a mostly positive development in the education system today. I will explain why I believe this and givprovide some examples from my own experience with studying. First thing The first aspect that makes online courses good isbeneficial is the flexibility they giveoffer to students. When I started my university last year, I could watch lectures at any time I wanted, which helped me a lot because I was also working a part-time job. Many students are having similar situation like me, and theyfind themselves in a similar situation, needing to balance their studyies with other responsibilities in life. Another significant benefit I notice is that online learning makes education more accessible to many people. For example, my friend who lives in a small city far from bigmajor universities, she can now study at good universitya reputable institution without mohaving to move to an expensive city. This saves a lot of money for her family, and she still getsreceives a quality education. Alsodditionally, international students they can study at foreign universities without visa problemthe complications of visa issues. However, I must say there are some problems tooacknowledge that there are some challenges associated with online classes. Sometimes, the internet connection is not goodunreliable, and this makes it difficult to follow the teacher properly. Another thingissue I experienced is that when you studying alone at home, you miss the chanceopportunity to make friends and learn from other students, which I thinkbelieve is an important part of university life. Despite these challenges, I strongly believe that the benefits of online courses are biggeroutweigh thane problems they havepresent. The way they makenhance education by making it more flexible and accessible to more people is very importanta larger number of people is crucial in today's world. As technology keeps getting bettercontinues to improve, I think these online programs will become even more effective in the future.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates several strengths, including a clear position on the topic and relevant personal examples that support the argument. The structure is generally well-organized, with distinct paragraphs focusing on specific points. However, there are critical areas for improvement, particularly in grammatical accuracy and the use of cohesive devices. The revised version addresses grammatical errors and enhances transitions between ideas, improving overall clarity. Further improvements could include varying vocabulary to avoid repetition and providing more specific examples to deepen the exploration of both positive and negative aspects of online courses. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and reflective style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point, contributing to the overall argument. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved; for instance, transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance clarity.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as 'this save lot of money' (should be 'this saves a lot of money') and 'this make it difficult' (should be 'this makes it difficult'). These errors affect the overall accuracy, but the meaning remains clear.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and conveys the intended meaning effectively. There are some repetitive phrases, such as 'online courses' and 'students,' which could be varied for better lexical richness. Additionally, some phrases could be more sophisticated, such as replacing 'good university' with 'reputable institution.'
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive aspects and some challenges of online courses. It presents a clear position that online courses are mostly positive, supported by relevant examples. However, the development of ideas could be enhanced with more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the negative aspects.
7.0

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