Task 2: Many people think cheap air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people freedom to travel further. However, others think this leads to environmental problems and should be more expensive in order to discourage people from having it. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, air travel arehas become more accessible for regular people because prices gohave gone down over the years past. Some peoples think this is good since it gives the opportunity for travel to many moremany more to travel who could not afford it before. While the other side argues that cheap flights isare bad for the environment, so tickets cost prices should increase to stop too manylimit the number of people flying. I will show consideration of both views below. One side sayargues that cheaper plane ticket prices means freedom to travel for many more persons. Before only richindividuals. Previously, only wealthy people could travel a lotfrequently by plane because it was too expensive, but now more average-income families can save up money to take airplane trips. This is goodbeneficial for people who want to see the world and experience other cultures. Traveling broadens minds and helps us understand others better. Alsodditionally, sometimes we must travel to other places in a short time like, such as for emergencyies, so cheap flights isare very helpful in thisese cases. But However, the other side worryies about the impact of increased air travel ton the environment. Airplanes cause a lot of pollution with the fuel they burn and contribute to global warming. If more people fly because of cheap tickets, then this problem will only get worse. People take unnecessary trips whichthat they would not take if flights were more costly. SoTherefore, increasing the prices of plane tickets is seen as a solution by some to protect the planet from badthe negative effects of too muchexcessive air travel. In my thoughtsopinion, both sides have valid points. I agree that cheap flights give chanceprovide opportunities for more people to have experience of travel, but I also understand the concern about environmental damage. I think the best solution is to havefind a balance. KWe should keep some low-cost options so that not only richthe wealthy can travel, but we should also add an extra tax or fee for environmental impact. This money can go towards developing cleaner airplane technologies. Peoples should also be educated to only take necessary trips and find otheralternative transportation when possible to help control pollution from planes. In conclusion, cheap airfares have benefits for travellers but drawbacks for the environment. The right approach is to find a middle ground that still allows affordable travel butwhile also discouragesing wasteful flights and investsing in greener air technologies. Only by considerateing both sides' concerns can we have a responsible air travel system.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both sides of the argument regarding cheap air travel and presents a clear position in the conclusion advocating for a balanced approach. Key strengths include a logical structure with clear paragraphs for each viewpoint and a relevant conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more thorough development of ideas, clearer articulation of arguments, and the inclusion of specific examples or statistics to support claims. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving coherence with better transitions, and enhancing vocabulary usage. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more varied and sophisticated vocabulary and providing specific examples or studies to strengthen the arguments. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs for each viewpoint. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and some sentences lack clarity, which affects the overall flow. For example, phrases like 'this good since give opportunity' could be rephrased for better coherence. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'furthermore' or 'in addition,' would enhance the connection between ideas.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('air travel are become') and incorrect verb forms ('this good since give opportunity'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct grammatical structures and varying sentence types to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and awkward phrasing, such as 'peoples' instead of 'people' and 'this good since give opportunity.' While some phrases are effective, the overall range of vocabulary is limited. To improve, the writer should aim to use more varied and sophisticated vocabulary, such as 'affordability' instead of 'cheap' and 'environmental sustainability' instead of 'environmental damage.'
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both sides of the argument regarding cheap air travel. It presents a clear position in the conclusion, advocating for a balanced approach. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples and clearer articulation of the arguments. For improvement, the writer could include statistics or studies to support claims about environmental impact and the benefits of travel.
6.5

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