Teachers used to be the main source of knowledge, but now with the wide availability of information, there is no role for teachers to play in modern education. Do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

'In present days, a big amount of people think that teachers are not anymore longer needed, because students can find all information fromon the internet. I am disagree with this opinion. I believe that teachers still have an important role in the education process, even though students can access to manya wealth of information. First of all, teacher areeducators not only givingimpart knowledge to student,learners but also teaching them how to learn and how to think critically. With the internet, students can easily find any information they want, but they may not know how to filter and analyze thoseat information. Teachers can guide students to develop their critical thinking skills, so they canenabling them to evaluate the reliability and relevance of the information they find. This skill is very important incrucial in the modern world, where fake news and misinformation are commonprevalent. Moreover, teachers can provide personal attention and support to each student, which is something that the internet cannot do. Every student havelearner has a different learning style and pace, and teachereducators can adapt their teaching methods to suit individual needs. Teachery can also give feedback and encouragement to students, which can motivate them to learn better. This personal interaction is crucivital for student's' academic and personal growth. In conclusion, although the internet has makde information more accessible, teachers still play an important role in education. They not only impart knowledge, but also help students develop critical thinking skills and provide personal support. Therefore, I believe that teachers will always be an essential part of the education system.'
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position against the idea that teachers are no longer needed. Key strengths include a clear argument and relevant examples, such as the importance of critical thinking and personal support from teachers. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as several errors were present, and the need for a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include correcting subject-verb agreement, improving the flow by varying the terms used for 'teacher' and 'student', and enhancing transitions between ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific examples or evidence to strengthen the arguments and expanding the vocabulary to include more sophisticated terms related to education. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical progression of ideas. However, there are some issues with cohesion, such as the repetitive use of 'teacher' and 'student' without variation. Using synonyms or pronouns could enhance the flow. Additionally, some transitions between ideas could be smoother to improve overall clarity.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('teacher are' should be 'teachers are') and incorrect verb forms ('has make' should be 'has made'). These errors affect the overall clarity of the writing. While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence structures, improving grammatical accuracy would enhance the overall quality.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'teacher' and 'student'). While some phrases are effective, the essay lacks a wider range of sophisticated vocabulary. To improve, the writer could incorporate more varied expressions and terminology related to education and critical thinking.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position against the idea that teachers are no longer needed. It develops main ideas with relevant examples, such as the importance of critical thinking and personal support from teachers. However, the argument could be strengthened with more specific examples or evidence to support the claims made.
7.0

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